Journey Moments

My Christmas Chaos

2011-12-25T23:00:00.000-07:00

In the lastweek of Christmas my life as a Pastor’s Wife looked like . . .

Twelve . . . ChristmasEve candles (to purchase - plus some)

Eleven . . . people needing prayer.

Ten . . . trips to my front door.

Nine . . . phone calls to return.

Eight . . . food giftcards (to distribute).

Seven . . . gifts to wrap (for the needy plus baskets).

Six . . . pans of popcorn (to make)

Five . . . food box deliveries!

Four . . . staff members for dinner (and their children!)

Three . . . bags of milk (to give out)

Two . . . slips onthe ice.

And . . . One . . . trip to the E.R! (not for me – though itshould have been.)

Are you WINNING!

2011-12-13T18:24:00.002-07:00

I sat shivering in the seat surrounded by grey fabric. Anxiously waiting for the heat to rise I glanced at the orange scented Christmas tree dangling on the right of my head. A nauseated feeling rolled upwards making its way toward my throat. . . too much vanilla. I glanced out of the rear view mirror and saw the large blue word staring back at me. It was the well known word coined by the famous Charlie Sheen - "WINNING!" A practical joke to my son from his beloved friends. . . thus the neon orange scented Christmas tree. There it was - written in bright blue car paint. I stared and for a moment something captured my thoughts. I asked God, "Are we really winning?" The battle that is? The entire way to church I focused on that thought. The truth is the battle belongs to the Lord - it's already won. The battle we must learn to conquer is the "faith battle."

The faith that all things will work out as they should.
The faith in trusting that God will provide all of our needs in this difficult time.
Learning to place our faith in God and not things or people.
The faith in knowing that God can heal, teach, grow, and conquer.
The faith in a Father far greater than any we have ever known.

In Timothy Paul writes:

"Timothy, my son, I am giving you this command in keeping with the prophecies once made about you, so that by recalling them you may fight the battle well, holding on to faith and a good conscience, which some have rejected and so have suffered shipwreck with regard to the faith." 1 Tim 1:18

Paul often seemed to understand the mystery of winning the battle - - - Holding onto Faith and having a good conscience.

I asked my son the other day about the sign on his back window. I asked if he was going to wash it off. He said, "No because it reminds me." "Of what?" I asked. "That I am," he said.

Now I had faith in that. . . I do believe that he is WINNING.

May your journey be filled with Faith this season.

Stumbling in the Race?

2011-11-19T09:42:00.001-07:00

Remember the dreaded cone used to keep Gavin safe for a time?

We always knew the day would come when he would be able to run free once more . . .

"I run in the path of your commands, for you have broadened my understanding." Psalm 119: 32

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize."
1 Corinthians 9:24

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us . . ." Hebrews 12:1

May Your Journey Be Filled With Great Races!

A Measure of Judgment

2011-11-11T09:39:00.001-07:00

Are you finding it difficult to watch the news these days? My husband loveskeeping up with what is going on in the world but I find myself leaving the TVroom filled with anxiety and frustration. Why is it so easy to pick apartanother person's mistakes, mishaps, or failures? The media is overflowing withjudgment and I guess we as a people can be very judgmental as well.

My family and I (as a pastor's family) have certainly received judgment fromothers. When you live in a fish bowl it is easy for that to happen.

Recently RickPerry has been in the line of fire for forgetting a few things. Haven't weall been there? Ashton Kutcher expressed an opinion of something before getting the whole story. Haven't webeen there? Paula Abdul breaks down on TV because she cares about people. Haven't webeen moved emotionally over someone or something we care about?

Our journeys are difficult enough to travel through and even much moredifficult when we feel we have to trudge through them in fear. It doesn't justhappen to those who live in fish bowls - it happens to students trying to makeit through a day without being teased. It happens when co-workers secretlysneak in the corner and gossip about another. It happens when Christians gatherin the hallways or at homes to discuss what they don't like about their pastor.It happens when children over hear their parents talking about other people atthe dinner table.

A while back God really tested me. Believe me! I'm no saint - I too have been found guilty of judgingothers. One Sunday morning, at our previous church, I was running from one endof the building to the other trying to get things ready. I happened to run pasttwo women standing in the center of the aisle talking (rather loudly) abouttheir dislike of the pastor. Of course I rushed by intending to move forwardwith my tasks and ignore it - but the Lord stopped me in my tracks and said,"Go back Tina." I had to take in a deep breath, pull myself together,and question, "You want me to what?"

Well - I did go back, stepped between them, and calmy and gently whispered,"Ladies, this is one of the things we are trying to stop from happening inour church - so if you could please wait until after the service that would begreat." (as if that would make it even more righteous) Embarrassed - they took off in separate ways. My intention wasn'tto embarrass them but to simply put a stop to the gossip in the church. A fewdays later I was reprimanded by one of them for doing what I did.

A week later - I found myself sauntering through the clearance aisle at anearby Wal-Mart. Two Wal-Mart workers huddled in the aisle andstarted gossiping about another co-worker. I tried to ignore it so I moved toanother aisle. They followed! "Not again Lord!," I said tomyself. I heard the Lord say, "Will you this time?" Was this a test?How can this happen again so quickly? I wanted to cover my ears and run away.

I again took a deep breath, walked over to the women, and gently whispered,"Ladies - people can hear you when you gossip about another co-worker andI'm sure Wal-Mart doesn't appreciateyou doing that."

Of course they received what I shared much better than the women who I spokewith in church. "Oh we're so sorry about that - you're right - thankyou."

You see we have all found ourselves in that situation - whether theinstigator or the listener we somehow end up partaking of such things. I had toremind myself this morning of what the Bible says about "judging" because I foundmyself judging the media for their actions. This is what I found:

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judgeothers, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measuredto you. “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and payno attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother,‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank inyour own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and thenyou will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." Mathew7: 1-5

So today, and one day at a time, I will try to leave the judging up to theLord. He's much better at it than I am.

MayYour Journey Be Filled with Doing the Right Things!

Splash Through Life

2011-11-04T09:04:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I took a trip to our near by lake. I wanted to see it the day after our fresh fallen snow. It also gave me a chance to get a picture or two. Beautiful blue skies hung over the glass like scene. As I sat in the SUV, my eyes immediately fell upon something that struck me as odd. A single branch lay in the water and I watched several birds perch themselves upon it. "That's interesting," I thought to myself. I don't know why it struck me as strange to see several birds sitting on a branch. I guess it was the fact that they were from different families, different origins, different in sizes, shapes, and colors. They were different - yet they found a common ground. It didn't seem to bother them that though different they could share a space together - a season - a moment.

As I watched I realized something I had known for a long time but at that moment struck my heart in a different way - God created us to enjoy one another's company. He created us to share in life filled moments - to live together - to surround ourselves with one another's uniqueness. Yet - the world is filled with division and those who wouldn't be caught in the same room with another much less sit on the same bench with them. The world is filled with those who reject others who are different from them in some form or fashion rather than embracing them because of it.

There are those moments that reach out and grab hold of us and this was one of them. I sat in the silence and prayed that God would bring us back to that (as I stared at the beautiful scene). That somehow we could learn to live in perfect peace and harmony with one another; that our uniqueness would cause us to grow closer to one another and not farther apart.

Our journeys would not look the same if that happened. Suddenly we would be able to rise up and take flight - to play - to soar - to enjoy life. That's the kind of journey God wants from us. He wants us to skip, play, and splash through life. He gives us moments that pass in seconds. Let us not miss the beauty and fellowship each day brings.

Miracles Do Happen!

2011-10-22T12:41:00.000-06:00

Some would say that miracles never happen in today's world. Some believe that coincidences are just that. Some chalk it up as accidents and some turn their heads and walk away. Our journeys are filled with miracle moments - some are those small nuggets that we can either choose to pick up and carry with us or choose to walk away from. Others are filled with those scratch your head moments - where we can acknowledge that something amazing happened - - - or we can explain it a way.

I have heard that gold is in great demand these days. Many are searching and selling to get that extra needed buck. If we could only look upon those daily miracles as such - not to sell but to share.

The other day my husband had a journey filled with miracles - here's just one:

God-opened-door-literally!

May you find those much needed miracles along the way!

The Cone of Life

2011-10-19T09:12:00.000-06:00

Do you ever have one of those moments where you feel like you have no ideawhere you are going? Do you feel blinded and confused? I have often foundmyself walking into a room only to stop in the middle of it and ask, "Nowwhy did I come in here?"

Our dog Gavin recently had surgery to be neutered. I would have liked tohave seen it done sooner but three males in the house kept me from devastatingour male dog in such a way. Now - we are faced with having to take care of aBIG puppy that is very unhappy. To keep him from "messing" withthings he has had to wear the dreaded cone.

We laughed as he stumbled around the house but over time he began to looklost and sad - we too felt his emotion. After a day of trying to get around thehouse- the once "new" looking cone turned into a battered conewrapped in duct tape to hold it together.

I sat watching him one day and reflected on our journeys and how they seemso similar to his right now. I often feel as if I am blinded - guarded -blocked - from seeing the world as I would like. Never-the-less I trudge onwardthrough life banging into things and often breaking them. I am sure that I comeout looking like Gavin much of the time.

And so I sit and watch this pitiful puppy try to find his way around thehouse and I say to him, "This is to help you and not to harm you.""This is so you won't hurt yourself." "This is how it needs tobe right now." I rise from my chair, grab hold of his cone, and help himfind his way.

The Lord will often keep us from seeing things we shouldn't - he will guardour ears and eyes to protect us - he shields us on our journeys and allows ourviews to be only what he wants them to be. We often fight to travel a certainway. We have no idea what lies ahead because our vision is skewed - But the Lordknows because he can see all things . . . and he whispers to us if we will butlisten . . .

"For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your righthand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." (Isaiah 41:13)

He will help us - lead us - guide us - along our journeys. Thoughwe cannot see the full view much of the time we must trust that God loves us enough to lead usthe right way and do what is best.

When Gavin finally reaches that place of healing we will be able to remove the cone and he will be able to run free once more. We are all waiting for that blessed day!

May your journey be filled with Peace today!

Heart of the Details

2011-10-03T11:49:00.000-06:00

I ran into a friend of mine last week and she asked, "How are you?" I responded with, "Well . . . " She interjected with . . ."Life is busy!" We've all said those words to ourselves or to others. She seemed to sum it up for me.

We can become so busy with "life" that we forget to live "life." But how do we live life to the fullest when we miss out on God? Part of living life is finding God in the details of it. So just for fun let's take a look at what that might look like:

D - Delve In! Start searching for God.
E - Everywhere! God is everywhere and we can find him in all things!
T - Turn! Turn your heart toward him.
A - Accept! Accept what he might be trying to say to you that day.
I - Inhale! Breathe in those words and his love.
L - Listen! Listen to his still small voice.
S - Share! Tell others how you have found him in your day.

May your journey be filled with success on this day and may you open your hearts to find God in the details.

Make Laughter a Part of Your Journey

2011-08-13T17:34:00.002-06:00

"It is bad to suppress laughter.

It goes back down and spreads to your hips."

After reading this quote it really made sense as to why my hips were so big! I have been suppressing laughter! (If only!) I wish I had been created with a sense of humor. It usually takes me a few minutes to "get" things, I often over analyze everything, and most people end up laughing at me because of it.

The three men I live with are very quick and witty. They banter back and forth and I often feel left out of their ability to be so humorous and their ability to come up with things so quickly. There are those occasions when I jump in with something I feel is funny - but most of the time it never works out. There are also those times when I stand and watch them roll on the floor from laughter while I stare and try to figure out why it was so funny.

There are days when I like their humor and there are days when I don't like it. There are days when I smile secretly at them when no one is watching and there are days when I turn my back and walk away from their silly humor.

The truth is - we need balance. I wish I could smile more - laugh more - enjoy more. Why am I too serious I ask? I have no idea. Perhaps it is because I am over compensating for their humor; trying to be the "stable one" - the "serious one" - the "predictable one." Do I really want to carry that?

So I am asking God to fill my journey with much LAUGHTER. I do want to laugh - smile - and enjoy life so much more. Now . . . if he could only help me figure out some of their jokes and humour - we'll be doing great!

Praying your journey is filled with laughter!

Ear Plugs and Saw Dust

2011-08-02T20:00:00.000-06:00

Okay - I know that little boys who bang on pots and strum baby guitars eventually grow up to be young teens playing their hearts out in a dark and dirty sock smelling basement. I have had many days of forcing the neon orange earplugs into my ear sockets and waiting patiently (well most of the time) for band practice to end.

"You won't get to hear this much longer," my husband reminds me.

"I know" The thought of it forces my emotions to surface. So I grin and try to remember the little things. This journey has been a great one. I have been an eye witness to their growth! What an amazing opportunity the Lord gave me. I remember the small steps, perseverance, broken strings, and broken cymbals. I will not miss the accidental vacuuming up of the guitar strings running loose throughout the house or sweeping up mounds of wood chips from the drum sticks. Yes it has been quite the journey.

So today - though it is another small step - it is a huge step for my sons. To play warm up for a band called Sheridan is a wonderful opportunity! Yes the journey has been something and though I often complain I know that one day I will really miss this part of the journey.

The Big Dogs Battle it Out

2011-07-26T23:09:00.000-06:00

It has not been easy having our dog. He is still a puppy and not quite one year old, I still have trouble remembering that because of his size. If we had to, we could quickly list the things in our own lives that cause us pain or displeasure. Gavin is much the same - though he cannot speak in our language he does let us know his dislikes.

He does not like to be brushed or to have his ears cleaned or touched in a serious way. He does not like to sit still in the house - he prefers to play - all day long. He does not like staying outside though he is a big dog - he thinks he's small. He does not like to walk correctly on a leash - though he loves to walk it is really more like running from fire hydrant to fire hydrant - pulling us behind. He does not like it when we vacuum the floor or mow the yard. He growls and barks loudly and furiously which ultimately leads to his attacking the machines. He has a sock fetish and we spend much of our time chasing him around the house to get them back. He does not like to sleep in his kennel or to be placed there during dinner. His whining sounds like someone is crying. And above all - he does not like having his toenails trimmed.

The other day we left him at the dog groomers so that she could clean him up, brush him out, and trim his nails. Of course she could not get close to his ears or his toenails because he would growl at her. A few days later I asked my husband if he would like to come with me to the dog groomers again so that we could hold him while the groomer clipped his nails. I have to say that I honestly thought it was a good idea. I had done it before by myself with the groomers and he did just fine.

However - on this occasion you would have thought that World War III broke out! Gavin growled, jumped, pawed, and jerked around. My husband held firm with all of his strength and then complained that I wasn't holding on firm enough. After several tries - my husband became more and more angry over the dog and the dog fought back just as hard. At one point Gavin became so aggressive that everything came to a halt! My husband was furious! And for good reason! Three women stood in front of him and looked at his battle scars - my husband's not the dog's. It was a apparent that the two of them had really gone 'round and 'round - only to find that Gavin came out on top.

It was one of those moments where I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I wanted to cry because my husband was so upset but I also wanted to laugh. I was truly torn! As I looked at my husband's battle scars I saw scratches on his arm where the toenails that needed to be clipped scratched him. And then we saw it- for the life of me I have no idea how it happened. Somehow Gavin had found a way to rip my husband's shorts right down the middle - leaving him completely exposed! Everyone could see the color of his boxers! No one understood how it happened! It looked as if someone had taken a pair of scissors and cut right up the leg. My heart sank at the sight of him and yet my stomach rumbled with giggles trying to surface. What was I to do?

After one more try the toenails were finally clipped and we made our way home. I trailed several feet behind and watched two extremely tired guys - one panting and tongue hanging out while the other held tight to the leash with one hand and his shorts with the other.

All I could do was shake my head - allow the giggles to burst forth - and say, "What a journey Lord - what a journey."

Sometimes our journeys will look like that. We will face those difficult battles. And sometimes it will feel as if we have been torn to shreds. Sometimes our emotions will rise up so strongly. But in the end we will walk away - whether laughing or crying - and we will survive to tell the tail and to live another day.

"Sovereign LORD, my strong deliverer, you shield my head in the day of battle." - - - Psalm 140:6-8

Life Goes On

2011-07-18T14:13:00.000-06:00

This year will be different for our family. As one son goes off with his new bride and the other to a new school I realize that turns are being made at the crossroads. I always new that these turns would come but so soon? I ask myself the question, "What will life look like now?"

As their life changes it causes my life to change as well. As their journey takes them in another direction it causes mine to go a different one as well.

My husband leaves for his interview for a new job. Another turn.

"We need to downsize," my husband declares.

"No!" I scream in my heart - "Not yet." For some reason I long to hang onto what I still have. I am letting go of so many other things now. Just a little while longer.

Why am I so unsettled? Though the earth rumbles, the ocean waves crash against the rocks, and the clouds pass through the heavens - life goes on. When the rains fall and the thunder cracks the sky life goes on. The dust storms blow, the trees bow to the strong winds, and even then life goes on. Green blades of grass are pulled from the earth and thrown to a new land - life goes on. The seeds of flowers are scattered throughout the earth and life goes on. The trees rustle and the fish splash against the river - life goes on.

The world, and all that is in it, is in constant motion. Everything is always moving. Life continues to flow here and there. Even in the midst of our stillness movement is ever present. Life goes on.

"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace."

Ecclesiastes 3

Life goes on - - -

The Language of Baseball

2011-06-25T22:16:00.002-06:00

Baseball has a language of its own and I must admit that I have no clue what people are talking about when I hear certain phrases. I have sat and watched my son play many games and I am still learning the lingo. My son loves to play baseball. He definitely has "wheels" (a ball player's legs) he is fast and has often been called in to run for others.

When I think of a "can of corn" I don't think of an easy fly ball caught by a fielder. A "Dish" doesn't remind me of home plate. And when I want a "cup of coffee" I don't mean a minor league player coming up to the major league club for a short period and then being sent back down to the minors, I mean a real cup of coffee.

My son has also had a lot of "Ribeyes" - not steaks - though he would love that as well - but "ribbies" or RBIs (runs batted in). And he is all about the "leather." (Refers to how good a player plays defensively or handles the glove.) A year ago he won the "Golden Glove Award" for being the best defensive player on the team.

And on occasion he makes a "circus catch" (an outstanding catch by a fielder) and people shout, "That's an ESPN catch right there!" Yes - he is quite the player.

This year the Lord has transitioned his journey of baseball. It pained us to see him trudging through those difficult moments regarding baseball. As parents we want to fix the hurts or wounds our children face. We want to rise up, defend, and declare the injustice of what is happening.

But God is teaching. As we raise our hands and shout, "God this is awful! This is bad!" He sweetly smiles and sends us his, "No - this is good. This is really good."

So just like baseball God has a language of his own. The game is played the way he wants it to be played and though we don't always understand we can rest in knowing that he has our best interest at heart:

"Your ways, God, are holy. What god is as great as our God?"

Psalm 77:13

The other day as I was flipping through my Bible I came across a note card that I had placed there a year ago. I listed many desires on the card - sort of like my prayer requests. As the Lord answers them I check them off. As I was reading I noticed one I had not checked off as of yet. It read "Grow my son spiritually." As I read I felt the Lord press his hand firmly upon my heart followed with, "I am."
Suddenly I seemed to "get" it.

Some say that life is all about baseball - - - but leave it up to God to take baseball and make it all about life.

Be Angry! But Don't Sin?

2011-06-13T09:03:00.001-06:00

Did Martin Luther King Jr. seem to have life figured out when he said:

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent
about things that matter."

- Martin Luther King Jr.

As Christians we tend to hold our tongues and stop short of elaborating on anything that might disrupt or stir another soul. After all love is patient . . . love is kind . . . love does not offend. Is there ever a time when we as Christians should rise up in anger? Of course there is. Jesus himself did. When he turned the table over in the temple and raised his voice he was angry. He was angry over the injustice of what was being done in the temple. The activities the Pharisees were allowing to happen in the temple were wrong and Jesus let them know it.

Ephesians 4:26 says:

“Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath,"

Wow - okay - "Be angry!" What does that mean? How can we "be angry" and yet "not sin"? You see that is the key. If we are to become a mirror image of Christ, to have the mind of Christ, and to live as Christ then we must take upon those characteristics, features, and attributes of Christ. God is a righteous God in every way. Everything about him is righteous - even his anger - even the moments he chose to express his anger.

I read from Bible.org: "There is the “anger of man” which “does not achieve the righteousness of God” (James 1:20), and the anger which is an expression of God’s righteousness. We are commanded in our text to be angry in a way that is righteous, that is a reflection of God."

We often become confused between the two. I have seen others rise up with a fleshly anger and declare that it was righteous anger - I've done it myself. I have also seen Christians sit idle and do nothing when it was the perfect time to rise up with a righteous anger.

There were times and moments when God rose up in anger and there will be times when we should do so as well. But we have become a world where if or when a Christian rises up in "righteous anger" our hands are slapped and we are left to feel guilt and shame over our actions. So we sit idle and watch - doing and saying nothing. Just as Martin Luther King Jr. said - truly that is the day our lives begin to end.

My prayer is that we do not remain silent about things that matter - not only to us - but especially to God. May we become everything Christ created us to be - using every passion and emotion he equipped us with - to serve him and to achieve his purposes.

Yes - be angry - but do not sin. Rise up with a righteous anger. Let us begin to take back our land - and journey with fire and a passion for God.

5 Ways to Have A Successful Journey

2011-06-10T09:10:00.000-06:00

#1 - Pray   . . . that your journey may be successful.

                     Abraham sent his servant out to find his son a wife. Abraham's servant had a particular task and need in mind before setting out on his journey. At just the right moment he stopped and prayed - asking God to grant him success . . . and God did.

#2 - Persevere   . . . journey with perseverance.

                     The Israelites journeyed through the desert for 40 years before finally being allowed to reach and enter the promised land. Their wondering was not in vein - God was teaching the whole way through. Though they wanted to give up many times over - they pressed onward even through the toughest moments.

#3 - Search . . . Make an Effort to search and find God in the details of your day.

                    There may be days when we may not hear his voice but we can see him in his creation. Gasp at his beauty from the sunsets to the sunrises - he is ever present - we just need to look for him. There may be days when all we see is the ugliness and sin of the world - but we can find God in spoken words - from other people, postings, and especially his scripture - he is always speaking.

#4 - Begin Again . . . Its a new day. . . begin again.

                   Come to an understanding that each day is a new day. Yesterday is gone. God has given us a new day to start over - try again - breathe again - live again - begin again. Don't camp out in an unhealthy place - begin again.

#5 - Laugh. . . Laugh through your journey.

                   I don't laugh as much as I should. I tend to take things too serious which makes my journey stressful. But God is teaching me to laugh my way through the journey. It can be difficult at times. Yesterday was a difficult day for me but somehow God helped me to laugh my way through it. Just to summerize:

Left for work - couldn't get the garage door closed.
Spent fifteen minutes trying to get the (large) puppy into his kennel
Finally left (with garage door open) noticed that my light for gas was on (no time to get gas)
Traveled my usual route to work but forgot that the road was flooded and a detour was posted which meant I had to travel way around and come in the back side to get to my work place. (still needed gas but no time to stop)
Approached intercesction - saw flashing lights - cars waiting - and then heard a loud noise to the left. A train decided to cross at that moment. All I could do was burst out in laughter, throw my hands up, and shout "Okay - if this is how you want it God!"
Got to work at the time my session was to start.
Elevators were out and had to run up a flight of stairs.
Heart racing I burst into the room expecting everyone to be waiting for me - only to find that they were all running late themselves! Now that's something to laugh about.

Rain Down

2011-05-31T09:31:00.000-06:00

When I first moved to Colorado it felt as if it rarely rained. It just doesn't rain here - I thought. I missed the smell of the rain - the sound of the rain - and the freshness that it brought. Well this year we have certainly had our fill of rain.I love it! It means less watering and less of a water bill.

For some reason (and possibly due to the rain ) I woke up this morning singing, "Rain Down your love on me! Rain down your love!" If you know the song you will recognize the lyrics. I thought it strange that I would wake up singing that particular song. It may have been due to having so much rain the day before.

Yet - in my quiet time this morning I read through my entire text for the day and then came to the very last verse.

"When the king smiles, there is life;

his favor refreshes like a gentle rain."

Proverbs 16:15

Again - a reference to rain! I have been completely overwhelmed lately and in much need of a "getaway." Last week my husband said to me, "Now I want you to go and have a day just for you!"

I stood in my bedroom and said to myself, "What do I want to do just for me today?" I had a really difficult time with that! I don't know how long I stood there but my mind came up blank. If I wasn't working on something, cleaning something, or preparing for something for someone else then I was really lost.

And in an instant I decided to go to the zoo! (it was the first thing that popped in my head) I felt strange and unsettled driving myself to the zoo. My first fifteen minutes at the zoo were of listening to screaming babies and children running here and there. I said out loud to God, "I must have been insane coming to the zoo when all of the school kids are here!" After all I needed rest and relaxation.

Suddenly it started to rain. The kids were scrambling to the buses - the babies were being taken out of the rain - and I was left standing in the midst of it. I laughed, pulled the hood over my head, and started walking. Within minutes the zoo seemed empty - vacant - and I was left alone.

All I could do was smile myself - and tell the Lord, "Rain down Lord - just rain down."

Look for the Lord to refresh you this day - to encourage you this day - to bless you this day. It will come in unexpected ways.

Land Hoe!

2011-05-11T09:41:00.000-06:00

What kind of land do you live in? Not where - but what kind? What does it look like? I often dream of living on a beautiful tropical island lined with turquoise and sapphire. It is a place where coconuts fall from the tall palm trees and bananas are in arms reach. A place abundant in fruit and fresh seafood. A place where the coolness of the night refreshes you while the moon glistens above - and when morning comes the sun rises and the colors of the day are immeasurable!

God set aside a beautiful place for the Israelites. It was filled with everything they would ever need or want - flowing with "milk and honey." But in order for the Israelites to live in such a beautiful place they needed to do one thing - "go in and take the land."

Psalm 106: 32 - 48

"At Meribah, too, they (the Israelites) angered the Lord, causing Moses serious trouble.They made Moses angry, and he spoke foolishly. Israel failed to destroy the nations in the land, as the Lord had commanded them. Instead, they mingled among the pagans and adopted their evil customs. They worshiped their idols, which led to their downfall."

You see - its one thing to live in a land with pagans, murderers, and those who practice sin and another to join them in their practice. That is what the Israelites did - they joined them.

"They even sacrificed their sons and their daughters to the demons. They shed innocent blood, the blood of their sons and daughters. By sacrificing them to the idols of Canaan, they polluted the land with murder.They defiled themselves by their evil deeds, and their love of idols was adultery in the Lord’s sight. That is why the Lord’s anger burned against his people, and he abhorred his own special possession."

Finally after rescuing them again and again - the Lord raised his hands and said, "Okay - if this is what you want."

"He handed them over to pagan nations, and they were ruled by those who hated them. Their enemies crushed them and brought them under their cruel power.Again and again he rescued them, but they chose to rebel against him, and they were finally destroyed by their sin."

In all fairness to the Israelites, it would be difficult to go in and take someone elses' land but the Lord's desire was not for them to live under the authority of such cruel people but for the Israelites to live life in freedom with joy and prosperity. In the end, living that way completely destroyed them.

Some of the Israelite tribes were able to do exactly what God required of them while others had a difficult time "taking" the land. What happened? Did at some point the Israelites decide to give up and conform to the ways of the pagans or did fear take over? Peer pressure? Ignorance? Did they understand the importance of the land and what God was giving them? Were they avoiding a problem? Trying to be a people pleaser?

The Israelites made two choices:

1) Not to take the land
2) To conform to the ways of the people in the land

As I read through this passage I thought of us and how God has set aside a beautiful and glorious place for us to live. Yet with that said we somehow find ourselves living just as the Israelites lived - practicing the ways of the world rather than God's ways - conforming to the world rather than being set apart from it - living in the world rather than not of the world. What a strenuous journey that must be!

Yet God loves:

"Even so, he pitied them in their distress and listened to their cries.He remembered his covenant with them and relented because of his unfailing love. He even caused their captors to treat them with kindness. (Gotta love that!)

"Save us, O Lord our God! Gather us back from among the nations, so we can thank your holy name and rejoice and praise you." There is hope!

Many of us have settled on a piece of land ruled by worldly things and worldly ways. Here's the question: "Have you given in to practicing the things around you or are you ready to take the land back?"

Let us call out to God as the Israelites did. Let us rise up and grab hold of that glorious land God has given us for such a time as this. Let us live in the light of God's teachings. Let us live under the authority of Christ and not the authority of the world. Whatever land you have settled on or God is leading you to - know that he will never lead you astray. With all of God's heart and glory he desires for us to live in a land flowing with milk and honey; a land that is prosperous in all things. Go in - take the land - do not fear - submit to God - only then will we be able to join the Israelites in boasting:

"Praise the Lord, the God of Israel,who lives from everlasting to everlasting!
Let all the people say, “Amen!”
Praise the Lord!"

Its time to change your journey.

The Robin

2011-04-30T11:49:00.000-06:00

The robin sat perched upon the wooden fence. Happy - content. Earlier that day I caught a glimpse of it grasping at the worms in the soft soil. It tugged and pulled - tugged and pulled until it's breakfast gave way.
Now it sits beneath the budding crab apple tree - stomach full and satisfied.

I watched as the bird basked in the glory of the moment. It did not move for a while.

What a sight! I said to myself. What you cannot see in this picture is the fresh snow falling from the sky. It looked as if God had taken his big sifter, sat silently above, and dusted the earth with his beautiful fresh powder. Gentle - soft - silently it fell. The robin sat in the sweetness and lavished every moment.

I listened to the Lord as he spoke in that second. "A new journey begins Tina." A picture that symbolized the bursting of spring and yet at the same time a sweet snow fell as a reminder of the past. I had now captured the crossing over - a moment when one steps out of one journey and into another. Spring is coming. Winter is leaving. Changes will be made, growth will happen, and life will go on. I leaned against the door in the coolness of the morning and thought, "Lord you hold my spring and all that it has for me. May I lavish every moment - may I sit and bask in the glory of it . . . just like the robin."

Conquering the Journey

2011-04-03T23:54:00.000-06:00

If you've ever experienced the loss of a loved one, gone through a devastating battle, or been hit hard by the overwhelming tragedies of life, than you understand that the road you once traveled has forever changed. It can and will throw you so far off the trail of your journey that you cannot see the passage from where you lie.

"I have given up," you might say to yourself. Well you are not alone. There are millions in this world who lose their strength to battle once more, take one more step, speak one more word, or find one more breath. I recently spent several hours on the phone with a dear friend. We can relate to these words because we have said them ourselves.

"Would anyone miss me if I weren't here?" The words pierced my heart.

I cried too - "Of course! Desperately! It would change our lives forever." My heart ached to speak truth and find the right words.

Why must our journeys be so difficult? Why must life be so hard? Is it because we live in a fallen world? Sin? Rebellion? Hurtful acts done to ourselves or by others? Sometimes our journeys consist of living halfway through our life only to find that we have never lived. I am reminded of the scripture that carried me through so much of my life:

"For these things I have spoken unto you that in me you might have peace - in the world tribulation - but be of good cheer - for I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Or maybe we say it this way:

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 (NIV)

Maybe a little more down to earth:

"I've told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I've conquered the world." John 16:33 (The Message)

Let's amplify it to get a better picture:

"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]" John 16:33 (Amplified Bible)

Jesus spoke those words to his disciples. With all of his heart and soul he wanted them to know that if we could only trust him in the midst of our suffering and walk with him we will find peace during those terrible storms; those times of grief and sadness. He cheered us on saying, "Be of good cheer! Take Heart! Be confident! Courageous!" In other words, let those words I just spoke encourage you because I have overcome the world. His death on the cross had purpose and meaning so that we could find purpose and meaning.

We must come to an understanding that God is our biggest cheerleader. He shouts from the heavens, "Do you want to get better!" "Stand up and walk!" "Press onward!" "You can do it!" "I am here!" "Be courageous!" "Do not fear!"

We do not have to walk this journey alone. We can walk it with not our strength but Christ's strength for "in our weakness he is strong." God will pull us up out of whatever has hold of us - as the Psalmist writes: "He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand." (Psalm 40:2)

My friend believe that one day you will find yourself standing on the solid rock, that the burden that weighs you down will be lifted, and you will breathe in life once more. And at just the right moment you will hear, "Go - live your journey." It may not be easy but it will be better than you ever expected.

Halfway There

2011-03-21T17:26:00.002-06:00

Sometimes finding God in the details of our lives feels like trying to find a needle in a haystack. The Israelites were being led by a man who was basically "tuned" into God. Moses not only had his staff but a radar to boot. He seemed to understand that the voice he heard came from God and that he was supposed to follow the cloud during the day and the fire at night.

I'm sure some of the Israelites looked at Moses and thought he had gone completely mad. What in the world was he doing dragging them all over the desert? Never-the-less they followed. They trusted Moses but did they trust God? Not really - after Moses left to go up Mt. Sinai the people were okay for a while but as time passed they began to panic. After many more sunsets and sunrises, the people believed that Moses would not return so they took matters in their own hands. They took the precious gold they had looted from the Egyptians and melted it down to form a golden calf. That would be their god! They would bow down and worship that! How in the world would the golden calf lead them out of the desert?

You see - they couldn't find God in a haystack even if they tried - because they really didn't know him. They knew of him, they had heard stories of the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob but they really didn't know him. God was trying to reveal himself to them through their trials and suffering in the desert. God was trying to teach them about who He was. Moses could find God because he knew God and had a personal relationship with God. He spoke to God - God spoke to him.

If you really want to start finding God in the details then start finding God. You cannot find someone you don’t know anything about. Imagine one of your children getting lost in a massive crowd. What would you do? You would rush and push your way through the crowd calling out their name frantically searching, seeking, and capturing every detail. And I do believe that if you stumbled upon them they would not be passed by or go unnoticed. You know everything about them; their facial expressions, color of their skin, hair, and clothing – yes – every detail. Imagine what your life would be like if you had that kind of relationship with God? Though we cannot physically see him we can come to see his heart, his word, his humor, his character, his abilities, his strengths, his miracles, and his love in ways we never thought possible.

If you are going to church – you’re halfway there.

If you are in the Word – you’re halfway there.

If you are praying – you’re halfway there.

If you talk to God on a regular basis – you’re halfway there.

Now – start looking for him – searching for him – seeking him – he is always working in our lives and always in the details of our life.

Spirit of the Journey

2011-03-10T08:20:00.001-07:00

"Success is not a place

at which one arrives

but rather the

spirit with which one undertakes

and continues the journey.”

Alex Noble

May today - on this day - your heart be filled with the Spirit of God

and may your journey be successful.

Stop Spouting

2011-02-28T22:37:00.000-07:00

Sometimes our journey leads us right into the path of spouting – not pouting (well maybe that too) but rather spouting – spouting off that is. Don’t worry – we are not alone. We come upon it time and again throughout the Bible.

John told Jesus, “Teacher, we saw a man using your name to cast out demons, but we told him to stop because he isn’t one of our group.” "Don’t stop him!" Jesus said. "No-one who performs miracles in my name will soon be able to speak evil of me. Anyone who is not against us is for us." (Mark 9:38 NLT)

Along with the disciples spouting their opinions kings and prophets did as well.

“So Obadiah went to tell Ahab that Elijah had come, and Ahab went out to meet Elijah. When Ahab saw him, he exclaimed, “So, is it really you, you troublemaker of Israel?”

“I have made no trouble for Israel,” Elijah replied. “You and your family are the troublemakers, for you have refused to obey the commands of the LORD and have worshiped the images of Baal instead. Now summon all Israel to join me at Mount Carmel, along with the 450 prophets of Baal and the 400 prophets of Asherah who are supported by Jezebel.” (1 Kings 18: 16-19 NLT)

What do we do when we find ourselves standing on the road of our journey spouting words, accusations, or silly things that in the end do not matter? In that moment we often have nowhere to go, we don’t know what to do, or how to continue on with our journey. Elijah knew what to do. He would let the Lord battle this argument between him and Ahab. It would become the battle of the Gods.

It is quite the story and you must continue reading about it in Kings. In the end the Lord received the victory and the glory. Where does that leave us? “I want God to fight my battles!” we often shout. The problem is – (and boy do I struggle with this one myself) we don’t know how to turn off the faucet. You see Elijah could have stayed a while bantering and bickering back and forth with Ahab but he didn’t. He immediately stopped the bantering and got right to the point – God being in the center of it.

I came across an interesting Proverb from my Bible reading today:

“Don’t talk too much, for it fosters sin. Be sensible and turn off the flow!” (Proverbs 10:19

So my goal for the journey ahead is to know when to turn off the flow and hand my spouting over to God.

The Heart of the Journey

2011-02-14T16:57:00.003-07:00

On this day, this hour, this moment there are many people who are journeying with a crushed spirit and a crushed heart. While others are racing to the store to buy delicious chocolates, roses, and goodies for their sweethearts others are in great despair.

Perhaps it is despair from the loss of a loved one, despair from the break up of a relationship, or despair of feeling lonely and empty inside. Though this bright beautiful day is meant to be celebrated between new found love, new friendships, and new journeys, (and it should) it is also a dark day for many others.

Over the weekend my heart ached as I observed friends experience a love unreturned, an act meant for love but filled with self, and spirits completely crushed. Today I was reminded that many others may be experiencing that as well.

In my quiet time this morning I found that:

Psalm 34: 18

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;

he rescues those who are crushed in spirit."

If this is a day where you find your heart - not completely all together - then may you be reminded of a love that will not falter, will never be shaken, nor torn from you. It is and will always be a love that will never wonder far away. May your spirit be refreshed this day knowing and understanding that the one close by has the power to mend your broken heart and restore your crushed spirit. God is the heart of our journey.

May Your Journey Be Filled With FREEDOM!

2011-02-12T11:23:00.000-07:00

Keep on Moving

2011-02-08T19:47:00.001-07:00

“To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time,

but we must keep on stepping”

Old Chinese Proverb

One of my favorite passages in the Bible is in Exodus chapter 15. I am not sure why it struck me with such humor but it did. We know the story - as the Israelites were trying to escape Egypt they came upon the red sea. Suddenly the Israelites looked up to find Pharaoh and all of his men coming toward them. Hysteria set in and they cried out to Moses. Of course they felt this was the end of their freedom. Trapped by Pharaoh's army on one side and the red sea on the other they panicked.

"Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

I imagine everyone ran around trying to find some kind of shelter or a way out. Moses tried to shout above them, get their attention, and calm their fears. The fear was too great and as the crowd scrambled Moses turned to God.

"Then the LORD said to Moses, “Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on."

I love that! God didn't have time for the hysteria, the panic, or the complete and utter chaos! NO! He asked, "Why are you crying out to me!" Keep going! Keep going, keep moving, keep stepping, keep your eyes upon the journey. Move forward.

Though the Israelites couldn't see it, God had a plan to deliver them that day - all they had to do was to keep moving forward. Like the Chinese proverb says - “To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping.”

May your journey be filled with many steps!

I Want That!

2011-01-30T21:46:00.000-07:00

There will be days when our journeys are filled with emotion, wants, and desires. When those days surface it makes for a lousy journey. The other day I stumbled through the morning, down the stairs, and through the living room. Every time I pass through the living room I cringe. I absolutely hate the set up. I have moved my furniture around at least 50 times and have yet to come up with something that I like. I'm tired of the mix matched yard sale chairs, the over sized hand me down recliners, and the cheap brown couches. Nothing matched and nothing fit! I desperately wanted new furniture.

Our living room is long and rectangular. The fire place is at one end while the television connections are at the other end. You really need two living spaces but the room isn't that big. Either way - I haven't been able to make any sense out of it and it has really caused me a great deal of stress.

I moved a piece of furniture and then stomped to the kitchen to do some dishes while I contemplated the next move. All the while a large list of wants ran through my thoughts. My spirit began to stir. I wanted to cry. I scrubbed on a spoon and then grabbed hold of a spatula. At that moment I pulled the end right off the spatula and couldn't get it back on. It was done - finished. I was too.

Its funny how the smallest things can push you right on over the edge. Who knew that a broken spatula would do that for me? I told my son that I needed to go upstairs and pray for a while. I fell to the floor and the dam broke. Tears saturated the carpet and kept coming! It was as if a volcano had erupted! I had no idea I had been carrying so much. I emptied every emotion, need, and want at the Lord's feet.

After the tears slowed for a moment I picked up my Bible and turned to the reading for that day. Still dripping with emotion, my eyes fell upon the Psalm.

"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want."

Wow! I had to read it again. I shall not want. The Lord's Spirit moved me so much that I cried again. For the first time in my life I understood this Psalm in a different light. I have read Psalm 23 for years but it had never touched me like this.

"He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul;"

At that moment, I felt the Lord touch me. My soul needed to be restored. I needed to lie before the Lord and weep. I needed to rest in the green pastures and beside the quiet waters. I needed restoration. My soul and heart had become weary over things that didn't matter. The Lord was my shepherd - I shall NOT want.

Sometimes our attention and focus is directed toward things on our journeys that do not matter. It is okay to want, wish, and desire. God has blessed me with wants, wishes, and desires in the past and he will do the same for you. However, this particular want had completely taken over my life. I couldn't enjoy sitting in my living room - though others could. I couldn't find content with the things I had - though others could.

God really did a work in my heart that day. I realized that I needed to turn my attention and focus back to where it needed to be - on God. I have no doubt that one day he will bless me with new furniture. But it will be in his timing and when I have completely surrendered to finding peace with what I have. So for the time being . . . "I shall not want."

Finding God in the details of that passage changed my heart, my thoughts, and my life.

Battle at Kruger

2011-01-26T11:22:00.001-07:00

The other day I flipped through the channels trying to find something that would capture my attention. Ready to give up, I landed on an animal or wild kingdom channel. (not sure really which one only that it was all about animals) At that moment I watched what looked like a family. Mom, dad, and baby approached the water. Lions cowered to the side ready to attack - - and so they did. They grabbed hold of the infant and landed in the water. The two adult buffaloes ran away. I couldn't believe my eyes as I watched a large crocodile join the battle! The crocodile grabbed hold of the infant at one end while several lions tugged at the other end! My heart ached. I wanted to jump through the screen and rescue the distraught animal. While the scene unfolded - something began to unfold in my heart. It was as if God were speaking to me during that horrific moment. This was definitely a journey moment for me.

Suddenly I was reminded of how it is with us. We often feel as if we are being torn apart by wild animals. This world is rough and sometimes people can be just as viscous as the animals I watched. As I pondered that thought something even greater began to happen. Just when I thought it was all over - God revealed something more!

Though the crocodile and all of his strength gave it his best, in the end the pack of lions would win the tug of war. They pulled the baby out of the water and on to the banks. Crouching over it, I could almost feel their teeth sinking deep within.

Without hesitation, a large group of water buffalo approached the scene. I was fascinated at how they hovered together, marched together, and stayed together. They didn't straggle in one by one - No! It reminded me of an army! They were in sync with one another - joined together - bonded. With harmony in their steps they came forward with such boldness and determination. The two adults who ran away came back with help! I leaned in toward the television and turned up the volume.

I watched as they began to encircle the lions. They surrounded them with a mission in mind. As the scene unfolded several of the buffalo raced forward with strength and courage, stomping at, chasing, and attacking the lions. They were angry. They were upset. They wanted the baby back!

And in that moment God spoke to me. How many of us in this world come upon a brother or a sister getting attacked and walk on by? Out of fear we often sit idle and watch without ever stepping in. I realize how scary it would be to try to intervene on our own - but God reminded me that if we can come together as a body of Christ and a group of people who will fight for one another than we can become a strong army.
At one point a huge buffalo rammed a lion throwing it up in the air. Several other buffalo joined in chasing the lions far away. The others gave way to fightng and chasing while some kept their stance and stood firm. They did not run nor were they chased away. Together they made a statement and stayed the course. In the end the baby miraculously staggered to its feet and walked toward the crowd standing firmly in front of it.

Touched and moved by the emotion of it all I began to understand how God created us and what the church should be about - to stand up for one another, join in and fight for one another, to not let our family members go it alone, to come against the enemy through prayer, to battle together like an army, to face the enemy with a vengeance and to declare "That is my family!" To fight for the life of a loved one - to embrace - hold fast - and to never loosen our grip. That is what the church is all about. That is what we should be all about.

That day I did find God in the details of something I would never have imagined could speak to me in such a way. Allow God to open your eyes and to speak to you today. Your journey will never be the same!

Journey Without Fear

2011-01-24T11:08:00.000-07:00

Fear: paralyzes, freezes, causes anxiety, stress, and an abundance of other issues. How many of us are on a journey filled with fear? Whatever the issue, whatever the cause, it is one of the most terrifying places to be and to travel.

Jacob was an old man when he left his home and started his journey to Egypt so that he could see his son Joseph. Imagine uprooting from the home you have lived for so long. Imagine uprooting from your land.

I have been trying to get my mother, who just turned 80 years old this year, to move to a place that would better suit her health and provide her with some quality of life. Many of you understand this scenario.
It is pretty fearful for anyone to leave their home and journey to a new place, but imagine someone aged and settled doing that.

One night God spoke to Jacob in a vision. "Jacob! Jacob!" he called."

"Here I am," Jacob replied."

"I am God," the voice said, "the God of your father. Do not be afraid to go down to Egypt, for I will see to it that you become a great nation there. I will go with you down to Egypt, and I will bring your descendants back again."
(Gen 46:1-4)

God looks at the heart and though Jacob may not have expressed his fear, God saw that he had fear. He had to reassure Jacob that all things would be well and that he would not be alone on his journey. He reassured him that his descendants would be taken care of and that he would bring them back to their land. What a relief that must have been for Jacob!

We worry about so much in life. Our worries cause us great fear - whether we will be okay - whether to stay or go - what job to take - will our children be taken care of - and so much more. To come to a place where we know that God will take care of us and watch over us will alleviate so much of that fear. I know - wouldn't it be nice to hear that thundering voice as Jacob heard? Then we could be sure. Well we can be sure. God promises to take care of us just as he did for Jacob. We can journey without fear.

This new year - with your new journey - begin to trust - begin to believe that God is with you - and you will find that your journey will be so much more satisfying.
Journey without fear!

Have You Had Breakfast?

2011-01-14T20:30:00.000-07:00

I'm not much of a breakfast eater (though I should be). I have heard that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. I try but don't get it down too often. The other day in the hustle and bustle of things my oldest son declared to the world, "I'm going to have me a big ol' bowl of thankfulness."

Taken back I chuckled and asked, "A bowl of what?"

"A big bowl of thankfulness," he said grinning loud and strong.

No one was really sure where that came from or for what reason. Over the next few days, I started to gnaw a bit on those words. They kept coming back to me and as I really thought about what he said I allowed God to settle gently upon me and speak to my heart.

I realized that we often carry our bowls of thankfulness around with us. Taking them in our arms and for all the world to see we raise them to the heavens and shout, "Oh I am thankful! See!" Sometimes to even convince ourselves.

But what my son said resonated with me. To consume, eat, absorb, take in, inhale, . . . our thankfulness is different. It is one thing to hold on to them for the world to see and to remind ourselves of being thankful and yet another to actually consume thankfulness! When we have allowed the thankfulness to penetrate the deepest part of our souls then something happens. When we can consume every blessing, miracle, glory, beauty, smile, laughter, deliverance, provision, and good deed then something happens. Suddenly thankfulness becomes a part of us - a part of our lives - a part of our journey. We don't have to carry the bowl around with us as a reminder - we are the reminder! To live a journey filled with thankfulness will be a journey with less stress, less anxiety, less worries, and less pessimism.

Hummmm - maybe breakfast is the best meal of the day? I open the pantry door and know just what I will reach for.

The Other Side

2011-01-12T11:37:00.001-07:00

Sometimes our journeys lead us to the other side. The other side of what? You might ask. The other side of your situation, job, living, life. There is another side.

"When Jesus noticed how large the crowd was growing, he instructed his disciples to cross over to the other side of the lake."

Upon first moving to Colorado, I was asked to lead worship for the small church my husband pastored. I had no idea what it would be like inheriting a praise team already established! Needless to say, it was not like starting from scratch and I was worried about making any changes. One day in my quiet time desperately seeking God and asking him to show me which way I should go, I came upon this passage. As I read those words the Lord's presence fell upon my heart and I knew that it was time to cross over to the other side - to make the changes. I had no idea what that would look like or how difficult it would be - only that we needed to.

As I read further I found that in the midst of the crossing "Suddenly a terrible storm came up, with waves breaking into the boat. But Jesus was sleeping."

Where's Jesus when you need him! He says "cross over" and then falls asleep in the middle of the storm! The crossing over with the praise team was not as smooth as I would have liked. Making changes is never easy. Changing patterns and routines are always difficult in any situation. There are bound to be storms along the journey. But I pressed on and was determined to cross over just as Christ had directed.

Sometimes our crossings are smooth as if gliding on glass while at other times we face the rolling seas and the high winds. There will be times when God says, "let us cross over to the other side" and out of fear or insecurities we stay on the safe side living in our every day ruts. Only God knows what awaits us on the other side.

I do love those devoted disciples who willing followed Christ through rough terrain and endless miles of road never knowing what a day would bring. At least they were willing to follow and on more than one occasion they cried out, "Lord, save us! We're going to drown!" (not in those exact words) Life does feel like that sometimes.

"And Jesus answered, 'Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!' Then he stood up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly all was calm."

You see, it is not God's desire or goal that we should be harmed by the raging seas or face frightful moments. His desire is to love us, to be loved, provide for us, and to give us hope and a future. Our crossing over to the other side may not be painless, but God promises to ride the boat with us. In my Bible reading for January 11, 2011, I came upon this passage once again. Once again I found myself praying and asking God which way I should go. Once again I found him saying, "Come let us cross over to the other side." A New Journey Begins.

Am I Going the Right Way?

2011-01-05T11:53:00.000-07:00

"Lead me in the right path, O Lord, or my enemies will conquer me. Tell me clearly what to do, and show me which way to turn." Psalm 5: 8

Even David understood that if God didn't lead him on the right path then his enemies would devour him. Not only would they devour him but they would "conquer" him. David understood that if he chose to travel the wrong path then he would not be able to defeat his enemies. He understood the importance of following God on his journey. He understood how important it was to take the path God wanted him to take. How many of us at this very moment are traveling a path where we are constantly fighting our enemies? How many of us are on a miserable path and have no idea where it is taking us? It is tiring and exhausting. Perhaps it is time to ask ourselves, "Am I taking the path God has directed me to take or is it a path I chose for myself?

Get on the Right Path

Pray, ask, seek God. Find out if this is the path God wants you to take.
If the path you are on has not been God directed then it may be time to exit this road and take a different route.Once we have found the right path then we will see that the enemy will not have the upper hand and that God's hand of provision will be upon us. We will come to find joy on our journey and that we are much happier. We will come to see that truly our journey can be successful.

A New Journey - A New You!

Success in the Journey

2011-01-03T10:24:00.001-07:00

"Without saying a word, the man watched her closely to learn whether or not the LORD had made his journey successful." Genesis 24:21

I love Abraham's servant. He was asked to go find a wife for Isaac. All he wanted to do was please God and please his master. What I love is that he asked God to make his journey successful. He asked God to help him succeed - this day - on this journey. "Then he prayed, “LORD, God of my master Abraham, make me successful today, and show kindness to my master Abraham." You see, the servant had a lot of anxiety about his task and whether he could pull it off. He had concerns about whether he would be able to find the right woman to take back to Isaac. There was quite a bit of pressure - what if he had failed? What if he could not find her?

Well, the Lord answered his prayer that day and God did lead the servant the right way. God did send the one woman that would be the perfect wife for Isaac. The servant didn't waste any time in falling on his knees in gratitude before the Lord and praising him.

"Then the man bowed down and worshiped the LORD, saying, “Praise be to the LORD, the God of my master Abraham, who has not abandoned his kindness and faithfulness to my master. As for me, the LORD has led me on the journey to the house of my master’s relatives.”

Successful Journeys

The truth is, our journeys are often filled with success. Things turn out just as they should, we find those very needed items we have been searching for, there were no disasters that particular day, we made it to work on time in spite of the traffic, an unexplained check came in the mail, the kids didn't fight, food in the pantry stretched farther than we thought, and so much more. We do have successful journeys.

I want to be more like the servant who prayed at the beginning of his journey - recognized when it had become successful - and understood the hand in the success. I want to be more like that servant who at first recognition falls to his knees and praises the one who helped the journey become successful.

A new journey - a new you!

A New Year - A New You

2011-01-01T12:50:00.001-07:00

As we journey to a new year many of you are deciding what new year resolutions to enforce. I, myself, at this very moment am searching through my mind like a computer to decide which one to stop on. Do I just randomly touch my imaginary screen and land on anything or do I give it some thought and truly decide what changes I should make this year? How many of us have made the same resolutions year after year?

The truth is - I should really consult with the one who created my imaginary computer in my mind. I should really consult with the maker of every fiber and detail within me - he would know everything there is to know about me. After all his hand formed me and with his tools alone he would know what needs fixing.

So - before I decide what step to take towards my new year and new journey - I will sit - pray - seek - listen - and most importantly - accept - before moving forward. Its one thing to make changes we would like - a new body - taking better care of ourselves - stop the sugar - exercise more - and on and on - but to change something God points out in our life is different. We tend to look at the outer when making our new years resolution but this year - along with doing that - I really want to take a deep look at the inside because I don't want to be the same person I was last year. I truly want to take a step in my journey toward everything God wants me to be.

So . . . my first step toward my new journey in this new year . . . spend time with God.

Live the Journey

2010-10-28T09:13:00.004-06:00

I stopped writing for a while - not sure why. Was it because I have been working on other things? Or maybe I didn't have anything to say. When life hits us with busy work, busy hands and busy minds, we often get away from ourselves. We can get away from the journey - from seeing the journey - from experiencing the journey the way God intended.

I guess I have been stepping out. Stepping out is easy to do - we simply step away from life sometimes. We simply exist in our own world and try to make it through. In this case, I have been trying to make it through every one's journey but my own. Finding time to live my journey can be difficult - but today . . . I have set my sight upon the One who has given me the journey - and I will push forward - I will plunge in - I will step in - I will live it. I will find time to do the things that I desire - I will find time to do the things God desires for me.

Live the journey - Today is the day.

Blessings and Pleasures

2010-03-22T08:26:00.004-06:00

Friday became the ultimate day of the realization that I live in a house full of testosterone. Yes - dirty socks, smelly feet, and stinky arm pits. I spent an entire day watching college basketball and scratching through my brackets (well some of them).

After spending the day watching basketball with my husband (and secretly praying for my teams to win), I spent the rest of the evening watching a knock down, drag out, all out gun fight, and bad guy movie with my teen boys.

We all gathered in my bedroom finding the most comfortable spot with feet hanging off chairs, pillows on floors, and snacks in hand. Over time the room began to smell. I didn't care (well maybe at first).

The movie started and off we went with the usual comments of one son's "Yeah!" and the other's "This is stupid!" When you have one son who looks for the action and the other who looks for the moral or purpose of the movie then I guess that is expected. After the snacks and pillow throwing, the belching, farting, and laughter came only this time they couldn't blame the odor on the dog. (we had to put him to sleep a few months ago)

I grabbed my cheeks, rubbed my head, and said to myself, "My Word!"

After rubbing my head raw and the tension out, I actually became very interested in the movie with my own shouts of "Oh No!" and "That was nuts!" At one point heads popped up, turned my way, and my sons said, "Mom! Calm down!" I realized that I had become as involved in the movie as I had in the basketball - shouting insane things, praying desperate prayers for help, and feeling as if I had completely lost my mind! The tension was too much!

Never-the-less, I took in my two sons looking like rag dolls thrown throughout my room and thought, "What a beautiful fixture." I reflected back on my day and determined that I wouldn't have changed a thing. I actually began to thank God for stinky arm pits, smelly feet, and whoops and hollers. I thanked God for basketball brackets, surprising last minute wins, and the ability to compete with my husband. I thanked God for the most unusual things and the things that I probably would not have thanked him for in the past. I found that I could find blessings and pleasures in the strangest things.

However, when my husband returned home that night from his adventure, he asked, "How was your evening with the boys?" I shared that I had a great "manly day" but now - "I need a chic flick!"

He laughed and I nestled down in a quiet place to find the perfect movie that only a female would enjoy - where at first glance men scatter and women are left smiling. Yes - Thank you God for blessings and pleasures in what some men would call "the strangest things."

The Sting

2010-03-11T14:23:00.010-07:00

Texas is a place that runs deep in my heart. I was born in Texas and have always loved the fact that I will always be a Texas gal.

Things I love about Texas:

Beautiful sunsets - like painted backdrops

Lightening storms - powerful beyond words
Blue Bonnets and Indian Paints - they lace the canvas with color every season
Tall pine trees stretching toward the heavens - the ones you can hardly get your arms around

Road runners and covey of quail that run through your yard every fall
The ocean and seagulls

Wild cactus blooms
The smell of mesquite wood burning

That there is a church on almost every corner

The men - no matter how old still say "yes ma'am."

Cowboys wearing cowboy hats, ropers, and wranglers

Wild raccoons and possums - I know they tear up stuff but I love seeing them

Big pick up trucks and the best country music around

The greatest thing is that my family lives there

The list is endless . . . .

Yet - Along with beauty there is also the ugly. Most perfections have some kind of flaw. Along with the beautiful side of Texas there is a rough side, a strong strong, and a side that I do not miss at all.

Fire ants - if you have ever gotten stung by a fire ant you understand that it is extremely painful - but to actually find yourself standing in a bed of fire ants- that is trouble - BIG TROUBLE.
Along with fire ants are "sugar ants" - they are perfectly harmless but they come by the thousands and get into your food. They come through the cracks in your walls, outlets, and anywhere they can find a hole.

Tornadoes - destructive and dangerous

Snakes - I lived in the country and every kind of snake you can imagine ended up in our back yard. . . . one even in our house! Some are harmless but many are not and they will kill you.
Summer Heat - the heat can become so violent in Texas that everything dies and you must stay in doors. It is absolutely too hot to be outside.

Goat Heads - large thorns that stick deep hurt with a passion

and the last . . . scorpions.

At our last house, I was stung by a scorpion when I went to move some furniture. I cannot describe the sting except to say that it was horrendous! The sting stayed with me for several days. I couldn't sleep out of fear of being stung again. It literally turned my life upside down. I was constantly looking for scorpions around the entire house. I was afraid to get in the bed at night without pulling the covers down and shaking them just to make sure a scorpion wasn't waiting to sting.
It is inevitable that while on this journey we will pass through those places of danger, places of hurt, and places that stir our fears - no matter how beautiful the scenery is.

The other day this story came to mind. After visiting with a friend of mine on the phone, she shared a tale about me that had been circulating among the members of the church I used to attend. It stung. It wasn't true and of course I understood it to be gossip but it didn't take away from the hurt. I felt attacked. In reality it was a sting very much like the scorpion. I was caught off guard and offended.

The truth is - God reminded me of the story about the scorpion because I needed to be reminded that it is very much like my love for Texas. There are many people in my old church whom I still love and love to visit with - and just like Texas there are still things there that will sting and hurt me. The result of that creates fear - I become cautious and always careful when turning a corner to make sure nothing was there that would sting me.

God doesn't want me or anyone else to live our lives in fear. The fear causes us to shy away from people who may very well need us and who may become a very wonderful friend one day. So I will take the advise of Ezekiel and move forward knowing that God is guiding me through those paths thickened with thorns, briers, . . . and yes . . . even scorpions.
"And you, son of man, do not be afraid of them or their words. Do not be afraid, though briers and thorns are all around you and you live among scorpions. Do not be afraid of what they say or terrified by them, though they are a rebellious house." (Ezekiel 2:6)

House Full of Noise

2010-03-04T19:50:00.002-07:00

When our children are small they can make quite a bit of noise. I remember as a parent longing for those days of peace and quiet. As they grow the level of noise in the house changes. Having boys, one involved in sports and at practice all the time, and the other who had been gone for a while, left our house peaceful and quiet. I must admit that I enjoyed the serenity. However, as time passed I began to miss "the noise."

My oldest son recently returned home from a long trip. We were all so happy to have him home but suddenly the noise returned. I am sitting here at this very moment listening to both of the boys play their instruments. My oldest is playing electric guitar and the other is on the drums. They are both incredibly skilled on their instruments and have been playing for a long time. It sounds like a huge rock concert! The house is shaking, the neighbors are probably ready to call the police, and if we had a dog he would be heading for the door to get out as fast as he could.

Its pretty heavy stuff - but I LOVE IT! In a moment I will close my door and around 9:00pm we will have to say, "Okay guys - the neighborhood wants to sleep." Once again we will have peace and quiet. In the moment of the stillness I will smile - just at the thought of the noise returning tomorrow. I know - I'm a crazy mom. So - knowing that there will come a day when the nest will be empty and the noise will be gone, I will enjoy it while I can. . . .even if I do have to wear ear plugs.

Dipping Into the Refrigerator

2010-03-03T14:12:00.004-07:00

My son recently returned home from spending quite a bit of time in Mexico City with my sister who is a missionary there. After throwing his bags down, he went over to the refrigerator and opened it, closed it, and then opened it again. He stood there, stared, and smiled.

I had to ask, "Surely there was food in the refrigerator where you were staying." He said, "Yes but everything was written in Spanish."

He then went over to the sink, turned the faucet on, and scooped the cool water into his mouth.

I had to ask, "What is going on with the water?" It was as if he had never tasted water before this moment.

He said, "We couldn't drink the water out of the faucet." I smiled and thanked God for his wonderful adventures and lessons. Later on, I started thinking about his great adventure and the things he had learned to appreciate when God brought something to mind.

Sometimes when we open our Bibles, it is as if we are opening a refrigerator in a foreign country. We read the word, receive the food, and partake of it, but it has no meaning. I imagine so many Christians have refrigerators from a foreign country. And even more than that when we go to read God's word we really do act like we are grabbing something from the fridge. We give a quick peek in, grab something, and then we're out.

But something happens when we suddenly return home - especially if we have been away for a while. Something happens when we return to Christ. Something happens. Amazingly, it is like opening a refrigerator and being able to read labels for the very first time. Suddenly everything appears so much clearer. Suddenly the food we partake of has meaning and purpose - we understand what we are reading! Suddenly everything comes alive.

Recently we have had a lot of people at our church standing in front of the refrigerator with the door open. Not to grab a quick bite - not because they can't understand the language - but because the food looks so much better. The food tastes so much better. The food is better.

Finding the Eye of the Storm

2010-02-23T08:24:00.005-07:00

I have always been one who has wanted to fix things, lead, and provide some since of calm to the chaos. I have been learning to sit in the eye of the storm - the place of peace. Chaos and turmoil whirl around us like a big tornado and we often feel the affects of that. Though we may have found the eye of the storm, when someone we care about has gotten caught up in the tornado part of it, our response it to jump in and try to rescue them out of the storm.

I think one of the most difficult things to do while on this journey is to allow God to take control, have control, and be in control. The Lord reminded me a while back that he is working in all things. Let me say that again -"In all things." He is perfecting and doing a work in our lives. We as human beings like to come in and grab hold of, take control, and fix things all for the sake of "helping."

The truth is, when God is trying to work in a person's life who appears to be in the whirlwind part of the storm, then he is working. He is doing a great work. He is teaching. He is training. He is wanting to speak. He is trying to get their attention. He is revealing. He is allowing them to discover. He is bringing change. He is perfecting.

With that said: He has never left them. He has always been by their side. His eyes have always been on the storm. His hand has always controlled the storm. He is ever powerful over the storm. At the sound of his voice the storm will cease.

Before we decide to leave the peaceful eye of the storm and plunge into the whirlwind part of it then we had better make sure that it is God directed. If it is not God directed then all we have accomplished is getting in the way. If we step into an area God is trying to do a work in someones life because we feel like helping and God hasn't directed then we have stepped into the path of what God is trying to do in that person's life. The same is said for when we are already in the path of the whirl wind and God is trying to move us out. If we know God is trying to move us and we do not move then we are thwarting a work God is trying to do. Why is it so difficult for many of us to move from the whirlwind into the eye of the storm where there is peace - tranquility? That is where God ultimately wants us - to rest in him in all things. I think part of it comes from wanting and needing that control. Another big area we struggle with is fear. Fear has a way of keeping us from moving forward and fear has a way of holding us back. Fear can keep us in the most fearful place - the whirlwind. We become frozen and will not move even when we hear God calling, "This way!" God wants to usher us into the eye of the storm.

So I sit in the shell of the eye of the storm, look out at the whirl wind around me and say to the Lord, "That looks like a big mess!" He smiles tenderly and says, "It's not a mess." "It's definitely not a mess."

Psalm 37:23

2010-02-19T08:30:00.003-07:00

"The steps of the godly are directed by the Lord.

He delights

in every

detail of their lives."

- - - - -Psalm 37:23

This morning in my Bible reading I came across a verse that I love and that truly speaks to me while on this big journey. I titled this blog Journey Moments - Finding God in the Details because I wanted to share how we can find God in the details of our lives. We do have those journey moments when God speaks, is ever present, and His teachings are evident. As I read this verse this morning it was as if God were reminding me that though I try to find him in the details of my life, he too delights in every detail of mine. He reminded me that - yes! - he does direct my path, I can find him, I can delight in him throughout my day BUT he delights in every detail of mine as well.

Thank you God for such a beautiful reminder! May my steps today be pleasing to You.

Sack Full of Trouble

2010-02-17T09:28:00.006-07:00

Change. Do we like the word or hate it? Why is it so difficult to bring about change in our lives? I admire those who have settled, dug their feet in, and have determined with their whole heart that they will make a change in a certain area of their life. Our journeys are filled with change. Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the "not so good."

I am not so strong in that area. I come up with many excuses as to why I am delaying, why I don't want to, why I can't. I know the change is better for me. I make the decision to change but something always gets in the way.

Recently I decided that I wanted to make a change in my life. . . for the better. I decided that I wanted to dig me heels in. I decided that I wanted to stand firm in my decision. I decided to lose weight! Yes! I want to stick with something for once that could enhance my life forever!

I shared with my husband and we decided to do a reality show at home and between the two of us - "The Biggest Loser"

I thought, "Okay I can do this!" I printed out the things I could eat and not eat. I planned the meals in my head. I had everything in place. I knew I would go through caffeine withdrawal and carb withdrawal. (Both of which I Love!!) I was ready!

This morning I awoke with a pretty severe headache. "Okay - my first sign of withdrawal," I thought. It wasn't too long after my husband took our son to school when he came into the room carrying a paper bag full of breakfast goodies.

"Look what I brought you hon!" He sounded so excited.

"Sweetie!" I called out with great conviction.

"Okay - if you don't want it!"

There I was - stuck with a huge dilemma. I pondered in my head, "Do I hurt his feelings by not taking it?" "Oh but I really don't need it." "But it smells so good!" I ended with, "Oh, just bring it here!"

Bite by bite all I could think about was the smirk on his face and I'm sure he was giggling inside at the thought of sabotaging my progress.

Shame on you honey! So once again it comes down to a few things I wrote in my last few blogs.

"I get to choose" . . . and . . . "finding my voice" (The right voice)

Thank you Lord for second chances, opportunities to grow, and new tomorrows.

Oh! - I didn't eat the hash browns.

Pests on the Journey

2010-02-15T10:01:00.007-07:00

Attitude. We all have one. We all get them. We all experience them. Our journeys are filled with emotion. We have no idea when we rise in the morning what emotional path we may take. I have heard the words “I get to choose” quite often lately. Is it possible that we can actually become in charge of our own emotions? Can we grab hold of those negative vibes at the beginning of their oozing? As if grabbing hold of a nagging insect? Easier said than done. Sometimes trying to grab at our emotions is like trying to grab hold of a nagging insect we chase through the house before finally swatting. Sometimes we chase until complete exhaustion to end with throwing our hands up and allowing the pest to have its run of the house. Oh the days when we can, with superman hands, grab quickly those pests like emotions that surface.
But our emotional journeys run much deeper. There are triggers. We all have triggers. We all have buttons. Opened windows. Unclosed doors. Cracks in the floor. Holes in the wall. Unsealed spaces. We are literally a group of people who can become unraveled!
No More Pests!

Good News! With man it is impossible but with God all things are possible. We must come to a greater understanding that there is no way we could ever do anything on our own. . . including dealing with our emotions. The God who created us and our emotions is the only one who can help us make sense of them. God is the one who seals the cracks, closes the doors, patches the holes, and heals the wounds. He is our great carpenter! God is the one who shuts the windows, takes away the buttons, and holds the string. God has the superman hands that reaches out and grabs hold of the pesty critters in our life. God is the one who holds us together. “In Him all things hold together” . . . including us.

“For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.”
Colossians 1:16-17

I realize that there will come a day when I won’t have so many holes. There will come a day when I won’t feel so unraveled. There will come a day when I won’t have to chase so many pests through the house. There will come a day. In the meantime I pray that God will have his big glue gun ready. I’ll probably need it.

Where's My Megaphone!

2010-02-05T10:26:00.008-07:00

Do you ever have one of those journeys you don't really want to travel? One of those roads you don't really want to take? You feel forced - coerced - made to?

Sometimes our journeys do take us down a road we don't really want to go down - even though it might be good for us - even though we might really learn from it - even though it might be the best route for us. Resistance fills our minds and we dig our heels into the hard soil rather than using our voice to express why we may not want to travel that path. Do we even know? Instead we may pick up our big megaphone and shout out whatever comes to mind.

On the other hand, many of us travel down senseless roads just because we can't say no, just because we don't want to hurt feelings, and just because we can't find our voice. Where's the big megaphone when we need it! The real question is, "Would we be able to use it if we had it?"

Life is filled with moments like that. Life is filled with paths like that. Life is filled with journeys like that. We've all been there. We've all done it.

Is it possible to take a step back, explore the situation, and come up with a solution as to why we are taking that particular path? Is God raising his righteous right hand, pointing his mighty finger, and declaring, "That way?" Can we feel it in our spirit and in every fiber of our being? Can we declare and determine that this path is the right way - even though we may not want to travel that path? Are we seeing the signs? Praying? Understanding? Knowing? Seeking confirmation from the Lord? I think we have gone far beyond the search for the journey down the right path.

I have a tendency to lose my voice in the midst of my journeys. I think I really lost it a long time ago. Growing up, many years ago, one was taught that there is a particular time for children to speak and for children to be silent. Out of respect for our parents, we learned not to "talk back" - "question" or "disagree". Many of us were never taught how to use our voices appropriately at such a young age. It is strange how those behaviors are carried over into our adult world. We are really children living in an adult body.

Let us not Lose Hope or Give up that One day we will speak!

There is hope for finding our voices. I am learning how to do more of that today. It is the "how" that really gets me. A few things I needed to understand when finding my voice:

I understand that I am created in the image of God.

I understand that God loves me.

I understand that I matter.

I understand that God created me to have a voice.

I understand that God gave me that voice. I use my voice for other things - speaking, singing, and teaching - all of which I have no problem doing.

I understand that what I have to say matters to God.

I understand that it is important for me to use my voice.

I understand that God wants me to use my voice and express those most important emotions.

I understand . . . . . . I understand . . . . I understand. . . but how?

That is the question so many of us struggle with . . . how?

That - my friend - is something I am still learning.

Where's my megaphone!

Journey to a New Home

2010-02-03T09:29:00.003-07:00

Many are journeying to new homes lately. Some by force - others by will. Some will take with them the joy and heart felt moments. Others will take clouded memories and darkness they want to leave behind. Some will leave the sweat and hard work they put into the house while others will leave what they could do just to survive. Some will venture to new and exciting places while others will venture anywhere they can lay their heads. For some it will be wanted for others it will be hated. Either way both will have tears. Either way both will be difficult.

The other day we put our dog to sleep. He lived a good long while and brought joy to us all. His journey ended and came at a moment when we would be journeying to a new home. He was one that moved with us from our last house to this house. In a since it was another step toward our new journey to a new home. God knows what he is doing.

And so every day we pack a box - or two - or three. I stop along the way, take a step back, and look at the pile of memories and stuff. So much stuff. I sort through items we need and items we don't need - Items we want and items we don't want. At the same time I realize that I am also sorting through those deep seeded emotions and feelings of what I need and what I don't need. What I want and what I don't want.

How ironic - though I am packing to move to another home and leave this one empty, God is helping me unpack and sort through the boxes I have kept packed for so long in my heart home. He does want to make my most inner being, heart, and soul a lovely home to dwell. I have no idea what our other home will be like and God is not as much concerned about that one as he is the home that I carry with me.

And so I will continue to unpack - sort - sift - throw away. I realize that it won't be easy. As God holds up an item I can see myself shouting out, "I need that!" His reply will be, "No you don't" and off it will go into the dumpster. I do have the perfect One to help make my heart home everything that it needs to be. His desire is to have this home that I carry with me become a glorious - glorious - glorious - place to dwell.

Today's Journey

2010-01-29T09:34:00.006-07:00

My journey today will consist of fellowship, new beginnings, and hope. I will have brunch with a friend and we will draw strength from the fellowship. We miss that in our journeys. Thank you God for reminding me of how important it is for that one on one time.

My journey will then take me to a new place filled with possibilities and new beginnings. A place where others will gather. A place where we will worship. A new beginning for so many. A new place. A new journey. Thank you God for a place to call home.

My journey will then take me to an evening of promise and hope. A safe place to share my deepest hurt or to share my praises of the Most Holy One. A place where everyone has their own journey in wanting to move forward in healing. A safe journey. A good journey.

May your journey take you to a place you need to be. A place you want to be. A place where God is with you all the way. A special place. Today's journey.

Does Your Journey Feel Like A Wreck?

2010-01-28T10:20:00.005-07:00

What can I say about my Journey?

Do you ever have those moments when everything about your journey seems to be cluttered - stacked up like a huge 50 car wreck on the interstate? When that happens it certainly is difficult to find God in the details. Sorting through the wreckage takes work! It is time consuming! Who wants to! Sitting back and looking at that may overwhelm us as we try to find something good in it all. And so I sit . . . I don't know what to do so that is what I often tend to do. I sometimes ask myself the question, "Do I have any strength to sort through such a mess?"

I am reminded that someone once told me, "It's not a mess." Do I have the confidence that my Great Lord is still in control? Could it be that what I am looking at that appears to be a big mess really isn't?

It takes me throwing up my hands and saying, "Alright God! This is your stuff - you sort through it." The hard part is walking away and allowing God to do just that. He smiles . . . He chuckles . . . because he knows the big plan and I don't. It is hard to not have control isn't it? (lol)

So . . .what can I say about my journey I might ask?

That . . .

God has control and I have none . . .

God knows what is going on and I have no clue. . .

God is teaching and I am trying to learn . . .

God is bigger than this world and I am but a speck . . .

God is God . . .I am not.

From Black and White to Color

2009-11-10T09:36:00.004-07:00

This past week I ended up in bed for several days with a bad cold. While trying to recoup, I watched a movie I haven’t seen in a while. Most of the movie of Pleasantville is in black and white. At some point people start turning from the dreary and average black and white to full vibrant colors. After a while, I realized that the change of color came about when the individual made a drastic change within them selves or when the individual’s true character came about. Suddenly they went from black and white to full color.

One of my favorite scenes is actually the very last scene of the movie. By this time everyone in the city and the city itself had come into full bloom of color. The last scene ended with a few of the characters sitting on a park bench surrounded by all the beauty of spring. One character said to the other, “What do we do now?”

When we have come to the point of change, when all the colors of truth and who we are come forward, and when nothing else is hidden, then the beauty that has been there all along, all of a sudden is unveiled. We then begin to view things differently and truly see for the very first time.

“What do we do now?” The other said, “I don’t know.” There they sat peaceful and calm in the serenity of the moment full of anticipation of what is to come.

We often have a difficult time sitting on the bench. Instead of waiting, resting, and enjoying the colors of life, we feel the need to act – to respond – to take over and do something! How can we just sit idle without a plan?

It is one of the hardest things to do – to let God lead us along the way – to wait for God to speak – to do nothing. I want to find the most peaceful bench surrounded by the most beautiful colors of every season imaginable. With my new found vision of seeing life in a totally different shade, I will say to the Holy One who opened my eyes, “What do we do now?”

I will rest there among the greens and blooms, the blues and hues, and I dare not move until he whispers for me to do so.

This week – enjoy the journey, seek to change from the ordinary black and white to true color, and then bask in the vibrant flowing beauty that God has placed around you.

I Need a "G" String

2009-11-07T09:05:00.005-07:00

My journey over the past few months has been very personal and painful which is why I had given up blogging. The other day I finally said, "The heck with it! I"ll blog anyway." After all, with out pain, sorrow, and every day struggles, how would we ever be able to find God in the midst of journey?

Though we have endured desperate measures, unwanted negative attention, and extreme attacks, God was ever present and ever helpful. I don't usually watch the show Survivor but one day I watched as team members had to hold on to a rope connected to a net. The opposite team tried to add weight to the net of its opponent which allowed the net to become heavier and more demanding to hold on to. That whole scene pretty much summed up what my family and I had been going through the past few months. If the team member let go of the rope then they were out of the game.

We tend to look at life that way. Along the rugged road of our journey, the opposition tries to throw things into the net causing it to become very heavy. Over time the net becomes heavier and more difficult to hold on to so we struggle with all of our strength desperately trying not to let go of the rope in fear that we may lose the game. The truth is, God wants to hold the net, has the net, and will take care of the net if we let him. Sometimes we just need to let go.

This past week God brought something into our life that allowed us to let go - if for a moment. While at our family counseling session, my youngest son laughed half way through it. Finally after a while the counselor asked, "What are you laughing about?" My son's response was, "You remind me of Mr. Rogers." Apparently all that was needed to complete the scene was a cardigan sweater and the tune of, "It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood . . . "

What topped off our beautiful day in the neighborhood was my oldest son casually strolling into the kitchen, as most teens do, and almost shouting, "Mom! I need to buy a G string!" After a pause and the realization of what had been said, we all burst into laughter and tears as if a pressure cooker had exploded. When our hands flew up in laughter, suddenly our net dropped to the floor. Suddenly the heaviness of it didn't matter. We didn't care anymore! God grabbed hold of the net falling to the floor. God grabbed hold of what we now let go of.

I understood my son's request of needing a string. He, being a guitarist, often does break a string now and then.

I don't laugh enough, I don't play enough, I don't smile enough. . . but thank you God for bringing those light-hearted moments to the surface that will allow us to let go of the heavy nets so that we can find laughter.

That day as my son and his dad were walking out the door to get the G string, the last thing I heard my son say was, "And I'm not asking for Nylon either!"

The Journey Begins

2009-09-05T19:05:00.003-06:00

Sometimes our journeys lead us to a road we thought we would never travel. Sometimes our journeys lead us to a place our hearts dare go. Sometimes the road is rigid and unknown crowded by the many branches extending their palms to lend their aid. Though most meant for good there are those branches whose thorns pierce the gentle skin leaving their massive marks upon another. The scars are a reminder of the pain it took to travel that path.

“Never again!” One might shout. But somehow they find themselves traveling that dark road once more. Asking how it could be! How could they have possibly found this road to travel yet again?

Silence breaks as the sun cracks the dark clouds. A soft light beams upon the path. The wounded soul begins to warm. Gentle rain falls. The branches glisten and the prickly limbs tuck their tails deep into the forest away from the light.

The crease of the lips rise and eyes squint upward to hear,

“I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.” Isaiah 42:16

The forest parts, animals bow to the Most High King, as the light overtakes the darkened passageway. The gentle rain washes over the wounds and suddenly a step is made. Two steps and then three are produced. And so they are not abandoned, alone, deserted, or turned their back on. No – they are in the light, under the light, within the light, and a part of the light. The light allows them to see far into the forest beyond the trees toward the glorious meadow. They pause. Breathe in a heavenly breath. The journey begins.

The Blouse Lady

2009-08-01T09:37:00.003-06:00

Yard Sales

So many of my journey moments happen at yard sales. I love going to yard sales. I used to think it was because of the treasures I might find but now I understand that it is because of the journey moment I will have.

My hair dresser - beautiful - a true special friend - recently moved to another salon. I love it! It is a quaint house painted in deep warm tones with lots of goodies every girl loves to look at. Designer hats, jewelry, and blouses are draped and placed at eye level all around the salon. Every nook and cranny has something for the eye to soak in and for the heart to long for.

Every time I had an appointment, my heart would somehow drag me to an area with all kinds of blouses - designed with such creativity. I kept eyeing a blouse I wish I could afford. I have never paid over forty dollars for a blouse - actually not even close to that. I know - being a pastor's wife and living on a budget, I could not imagine spending money I know needed to go some place else! Never - the less - God knows our hearts and He understands our longings and desires.

One yard sale morning I drove out to an area with beautifully over sized houses. Upon my entrance into the garage, I was met by a wonderful woman who appeared to be in her early fifties. She graced me with a large smile and before I could get anything out of my mouth she grabbed a blouse, held it up, and said, "I bought this at a local boutique and never wore it."

At that moment my eyes were scanning the rest of her things but when I looked up and made contact I was deeply surprised. She held high the blouse I so desperately longed for. She held in her hands the blouse my heart was drawn to every time I entered the boutique. I couldn't believe it. God had brought me to a place and to someone who would bless me!

Sold

Of course I bought the blouse for a mere $2.00. I thanked the Lord for the journey moment as well as the blessing. After that I wondered if the little boutique she had been speaking of was the one I go to. A few weeks later I went in for a trim. Around the corner I saw an older woman smiling at me as if she knew me. Her hair was getting colored so I couldn't really get a clear visual of who she was. I smiled back. She said, "I think I know you." I looked deeper and realized it was the blouse lady.

Overjoyed I asked, "Is this where you bought the blouse you never wore?" She nodded yes. I couldn't wait to tell her how I had my eyes on that blouse and how God used her to bless me. I didn't know if she was a Christian or not - I just blurted it all out adding every giggle and laughter along with it. She giggled too. We hugged and parted ways. God confirmed that yes - he really does care about our hearts and desires - but especially blessing us . . . even through a blouse lady.

The Barber Pole

2009-07-28T15:04:00.003-06:00

Okay – I have been slacking in writing my journey moments. Life gets busy and the writings can tend be delayed.

This summer I had opportunities to go to a few yard sales. A friend and I have been trying to find some things for our church and one of the best places to find it is at a yard sale!

My first sale I noticed an old barber pole lying on the ground. My first thought was that I knew of a deacon in our church that decorated his garage into a men’s barbershop and wondered if he needed a pole. He would have the men come over for coffee and doughnuts. I am sure it was a fun time for them. I immediately said, almost out loud, “I need to call Mary.” (his wife)

After leaving that sale just a block down the street was another sale. After looking around a moment or two I stumbled upon - none other than Mary! Of course I understood that God brought us together and that our running into each other was not an accident – especially after what I had just seen and commented on!

I told her about the pole and she ran out like a horse out of the shoot hoping to get to it before anyone else.

That next morning at church she shared with me an amazing journey moment. She did go to the house with the barber pole. After visiting with the man a few minutes she asked him if he was a Maxwell – her last name. He said Yes! The story began to unfold. Her husband’s uncle had moved into the area but he did not know where. They had wanted to find the uncle but were unable to. You see the uncle had early stages of Alzheimer and was becoming very forgetful. Rick had asked the uncle a while back about the barber pole but due to the Alzheimer he could not remember where he had put it – or remembered to call the family after the move.

Mary not only found the lost barber pole everyone was looking for but she found out something greater – where Rick’s uncle was now living. Just when you think it’s about a barber pole the Lord reveals to us what the real journey moment was about – bringing a family back together.

The Message

2009-07-06T09:08:00.004-06:00

God speaks through all things. He speaks in the whistling of the wind, the roaring of the thunder, through the lighting up of the vast sky; God speaks. When we are about our day doing our every day tasks and suddenly stumble upon something very unusual it is easy to scratch our head and look away - but suppose God is wanting to and trying to say something to us during that moment - through that moment? Will we reach out and grab hold of it? Can we pause in the moment and inhale that message the Lord so desires us to have?

The plagues came at a moment God was trying to reveal himself to Pharaoh. Of course in the end it took Pharaoh losing his firstborn son for him to get the message. Broken, humbled, and humiliated, he called for Moses and ordered him to get his people and get out!

Why? Why would God choose to kill the firstborn?

Exodus 4:22-23 says, "Israel is my firstborn son, and I told you, 'let my son go, so he may worship me.' But you refused to let him go; so I will kill your firstborn son."

It wasn't every day that God used the killing of a firstborn to get someones attention. That sounds pretty harsh but God knows what he is doing and in all things He teaches, reveals, works through, opens our eyes to see, delivers the messages, parts the clouds, commands the sun to rise, opens the doors, makes way the paths, all for the sake of guiding us through our journey.

When you stumble upon an unusual moment - take heed and ask the Lord to reveal to you the message - - because that is what the journey is all about - - - the message.

A Most Unusual Moment

2009-06-30T09:13:00.003-06:00

"Pharaoh and all of his officials and all the Egyptians got up during the night, and there was loud wailing in Egypt, for there was not a house without someone dead." Exodus 12:30

"There was not a house without someone dead." If you have ever lost a loved one you can understand the pain that comes with the loss. If the loss is unexpected the pain is not lessened - only different. When sudden loss occurs we do not have those moments to say good bye - we do not have those moments to prepare ourselves for the passing - we do not have those moments to share those deep seeded words we have longed to share - no when the passing is sudden and unexpected - there is deep wailing.

Imagine this very moment - this very unusual moment in Egypt. This was something that had never happened before this night or ever would again.

"There will be loud wailing throughout Egypt - worse than there has ever been or ever will be again." Ex: 11:6

The question is, "Can God work through those unusual moments we face and stumble upon?"

"How did God work those this unusual and horrific moment with the Egyptians and the Israelites?

God did work through it all - he did speak - he did teach - he did reveal himself through such a time as this.

Tune in tomorrow to find out how -

Unusual Events

2009-06-04T11:21:00.002-06:00

We have all stumbled upon unusual events in our life. Our normal response is usually a quick "Boy that's strange" and then on our way we go. Let's take a moment and suppose that our stumbling was not an accident. Could we ponder the question "Can God speak to us through an unusual event?" Perhaps God directed those steps and may even have allowed the unusual event to take place right in front of you for a reason.

For the next few weeks we will talk about unusual events, the unusual event the Israelites faced while on their journey, and how God spoke to them through it.

God Can Speak to Us Through Unusual Events

Look for those unusual events this week. Because they are unusual they may not come around but every so often. If you happen to stumble upon one this week take notice of everything. Check back in a few days to find out what happened to the Israelites. Look for God to speak to you through your unusual event.

Questions

2009-05-20T14:57:00.008-06:00

While at a writing conference this past week, I came upon an older gentleman where I was staying. He asked a lot of questions - questions which would eventually lead to a conversation about Christ.

Questions #1

"What kind of writing conference are you attending?"

I told him that I was attending a Christian Writer's Conference. He suddenly perked up, moved closer, and tuned his ears to what I had to say.

Question #2

"What kind of Christian writing do you do?"

I told him that I wrote devotionals and Bible Studies. He clapped his hands and leaned in even more exclaiming, "This is so interesting!"

Question #3

"I have friends who are Muslim. They ask, "How can Christians serve a God who sends people to hell?"

I told him that God doesn't send people to hell. He created us to have a choice. God's greatest desire is that we would choose Him, but he does not force us to love him, serve him, or want to have him in our lives. He is a God that honors our choice whether good or bad. If we choose not to have him in our lives then that in itself is hell - whether here on earth or somewhere else.

Question #4

"How can you celebrate Easter when it is named after the sex goddess Ishtar?"

We do not celebrate Easter - we celebrate the Resurrection of Christ. Our focus is on Christ and his resurrection. We had a wonderful visit and after a while we parted. I thanked the Lord for allowing me to have a conversation about Him to this man.

My Question:

"Do you suppose that encounter with this man was coincidental or did God have something to do with it?

I happened to have been outside at that moment. I happened to have been staying at the same place he was staying. I happened to have been the one he asked the questions to. I didn't do anything anyone else couldn't do - I just made myself available for God to use.

Look for those encounters with others that God brings your way. Find him in the details of your walk. Ready yourself.

A Journey with Another

2009-05-08T07:51:00.004-06:00

Over the past three years or so, I have been counseling and ministering to a young woman in great distress. She came into my life broken and beaten up. The main focus became her son and the conflict she was having with him. After a while I referred her to another family counselor. About a year later she would call again and I would retreat to that quiet place and pray that God would give me wisdom and words. After a long while of speaking I asked her if she was ready to come to know the Lord. Tearful and broken she said, "Yes."

She took her Bible and on the phone we went through the steps of coming to know Christ. She cried and prayed from her heart. She cried a prayer of desire - a prayer of need - a prayer of yearning. No matter what she had been facing or will be facing she now could rest assured that the Lord is going to help her and she could have peace in Him. The Lord has always wanted to have her life - her problems - her worries. With the Lord she could now find peace and rest in the midst of her struggles.

I never met her son though I heard so much about him I still prayed for him and his relationship with his mother. Then through a chain of events the Lord would, several years later, bring us together. I would now be able to put a face to the name I had heard so often.

Wednesday evening I met with a member at our local recreation center to help get the sound system set up for the next morning. My friend and I would be singing for the National Day of Prayer. A young man stood by the stage and I was introduced to him. I heard the name - a common name - and didn't think anything of it. When I teach my class I tell people to "notice everything" around them. God is working in the details.

Busy working in my area, I looked up and noticed that the woman's ex-husband was standing next to this young man speaking to him way off on the far side of the building. I stopped and stared for a moment listening for God to speak. I then put it all together. The young man's name came back to my attention and then I realized that they were father and son. I then realized that the Lord had brought me face to face with a young man I had heard so much about, spent time praying for, at times defending to his mother and there I was standing next to him. Finally the Lord would bring us together.

I now know where he has been working for the past four years. He has seen me too know and knows that I have been working with his mother. I have no doubt that this is the beginning of something good. My encounter that day with this young man was not an accident nor a coincident, but a journey moment from God. At just the right moment God would bring us together - though several years later.

Look for those encounters with others today. Ask God how you might be able to minister to them or maybe their task is to help you today. Find God working today. Find him in the details. Have a successful journey!

Office Call

2009-05-05T08:48:00.004-06:00

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
1 Thessalonians 5:11

A small tap on the shoulder and a sweet whisper brought morning earlier than my desire.

“Telephone for you, mom,” came the soft voice from my eight-year-old son. “Doesn’t anyone sleep in on Saturdays anymore?” I thought while taking the phone. Clearing my raspy voice, I said, “Hello?”

I tried to listen as she spoke her name and shared where she was calling from but sleep lingered in the air. I understood the words, "doctor’s office." so I sat upright in bed to pay attention.

“How are you doing?” she asked. I could feel the smile through the phone. Cheery, uplifting, and personal - definitely someone of an early morning nature.

I began to tell her about my neck and the pain that appeared to be getting worse. I shared about how the terrible stiffness in my neck had broadened, making its way toward the back the throbbing increasing the whole while.

“Have you started your antibiotic?” She said in a nice tone. I assured her that I had. “Well, give it some time to work.”

By that time, I gathered my thoughts and appreciated the phone call from the office. “What a wonderful doctor’s office I have!” I thought to myself.

Upon further explanation that seemed to go on and on, she finally asked, “Have you tried the heating pad?” I shared that I just bought one and it did seem to help quite a bit.

We must have spent about fifteen or twenty minutes on the phone talking and sharing about neck stiffness, joint aches, pain, and remedies as well as my recent visit to the doctor’s office. We tried to solve it all. I took that opportunity to pour it all out and she took that opportunity to listen and share helpful tips. After the long conversation and after I felt I had said all there was to say, I ended it with, “Well, thank you for the call!”

Suddenly, as if in slow motion, I heard the words, “Oh, I just called to tell Dave his crown was in.”

I was motionless, speechless, and unresponsive. Did I hear that right? She just called to tell my husband that his crown was in. Whom was I speaking with on the other end of the phone? I suddenly realized that it was not my doctor’s office that called, but my husband’s dentist office!

Boy did I feel silly! "Oh - okay, I'll let him know," I said in dismay - hanging the phone up. Later I reflected back on that moment (all the while laughing) about how God had placed a wonderful woman on the phone who had called for some other reason than to listen to me, share with me, or help me. Never-the-less - she did. She took the time out of her busy morning. . . . She took the time to sit with a complete stranger on the phone and listen to her ramble on about her neck issues. . . . She took the time to provide helpful tips. . . she took the time. . . she took the time.

My journey that morning with a complete stranger opened my eyes. I was reminded of how little time I spend listening. I was reminded of how "my agenda" seems to take over. I was reminded that our encounters with others have meaning and purpose. I was reminded that God really does care about our little issues in life. I was reminded that I too need to take the time. . . I too need to take the time.

David's Psalm

2009-04-30T12:28:00.004-06:00

Journey to seek a promise to the Lord this day:

Psalm 101

A psalm of David.

"I will sing of your love and justice, Lord.

I will praise you with songs.

I will be careful to live a blameless life— when will you come to help me?

I will lead a life of integrity in my own home.

I will refuse to look at anything vile and vulgar.

I hate all who deal crookedly; I will have nothing to do with them.

I will reject perverse ideas and stay away from every evil.

I will not tolerate people who slander their neighbors.

I will not endure conceit and pride.
I will search for faithful people to be my companions. Only those who are above reproach will be allowed to serve me.

I will not allow deceivers to serve in my house, and liars will not stay in my presence.

My daily task will be to ferret out the wicked and free the city of the Lord from their grip.

David was pretty strong in his promises to the Lord. How many of us live with things like this on a daily basis and yet never move forward to make the necessary changes we need to make. It is very difficult to do.

"Lord, grant us the strength to make the changes in our homes, lives, work places, and churches we need to make - to move forward in a healthy way and in healthy relationships."

Change your Journey Today!

To Dairy Queen . . .and Beyond!

2009-04-20T22:48:00.009-06:00

Sometimes our journeys are unexpected. I have learned that anything can happen and what I really perceive is happening may not be accurate. Today was a very busy day for me. I juggled a million hats. Women in general do that, but as a pastor's wife I have those days where I do more juggling than I would like. It all started with a visit to my friend's house to meet with her insurance man while she was at work. Then off to the church where I ended up meeting with our youth pastor about decorations for his youth room - I then had a conversation with our church secretary which ended in praying over her and for her - delivered poinsettias to shut ins and friends - had a cup of coffee with Ms. Evelyn who recently turned ninety - ran by another friend's home and visited with her about her cooking - ran home to find my oldest son ill -got him meds and settled - fed the dog - fed myself - phone rang - headed out to meet with another woman at the church - ended up ministering to one woman who had come and spent time praying - never did get to the things I planned on doing with the other woman who came to meet me at the church - Finished praying with the woman in need - finished up in time to teach a teenager a piano lesson (still at the church) - ran to the store for a few items on the way home - started dinner - ate dinner - cleaned up - finished watching a movie with my youngest son which we had started the night before - movie ended - hubby came home from meeting - we all ran to Dairy Queen for a treat - and then . . . I didn't have a hat for what happened next. However - it was definitely a Calgon moment.

My husband decided that he would NOT go through the drive - thru at Dairy Queen. My oldest son had been ill earlier and did not look his best so he decided to wait in the car but first gave us his ice-cream request. My youngest son did not want to go in either - nor would he tell us what he wanted. Suddenly he regressed to five years old. He fumed - he fussed - he whined - his voice elevated to an extreme high pitch. "I don't want to go in!" My husband and I got out of the car hoping he would follow - he did not. We ordered what we wanted and then ordered something we thought he might like. (Okay we have a soft heart)

All the way home a tired unhappy young fellow graced us with his rebellious tone. After threats of grounding he still continued - My husband threatened that if he did not close his mouth he would lose his XBox for a week - my son continued - "Two weeks!" hubby shouted. That didn't stop my son. Somehow the grounding kept going - "One month!" "Two months!" until finally . . . . "Yard sale!" My oldest son and I snickered. Nothing stopped the shrills and of course we couldn't believe he was acting so childish.

Finally making it home - I took my tired body and tried to exit the vehicle - all the while listening to the rantings of a fourteen year old. His little lips moved non stop - rapidly as if he had no control over them. At one point I looked around to find something I could possibly shove between them hoping that would help. My husband and I were now on edge - tired - worn - weary - there was nothing else to take away from my son! He had lost just about everything and still kept on going. In the midst of that my oldest son was oblivious to what was happening - he was in his own little world like most sixteen year old boys. While trying to get up the steps and into the house for solitude and wishful settlement, my oldest son decided to do the "Dairy Queen trick" with his blizzard - you know - the kind where you take the frozen blizzard and hold it upside down. According to Dairy Queen it is not supposed to budge. Well - they actually did that for us after making the blizzard - however my son was in the car and did not get to see it.

We reached the bottom of the steps in the garage that led into the house when my oldest son suddenly decided to stop - turn his blizzard upside down and give out a big shout of "YYYEEAAHH!" I watched as two seconds later - the ice cream fell to the steps creating a big "PLOP" leaving my son dumbfounded and holding onto his empty upside down dairy queen cup! At the same time my youngest son is whining, "I didn't want to go in . . . . I don't know what they have! . .. I just wanted to go through the drive -thru . .. you could have just gone through the drive-thru! . . ." I wanted to get back in the car and drive around the block or maybe the state of Colorado! After the ice-cream was cleaned up and the youngest son sent to bed - my husband and I stood by the dryer (one more task) and burst out in laughter. We laughed and laughed. My husband said, "I just wanted a nice trip to the Dairy Queen."

Hope your journey is filled with laughter this week.

A Resourceful Moment

2009-04-16T13:49:00.004-06:00

This past week I spent some time with a friend. Her first visit with the counselor and she needed a friend to be with her. I learned a great deal from the therapist especially a few words spoken that lingered in my mind. I pondered on the word "sabotage." When someone is receiving counseling an unhealthy person in the family may try to "sabotage" the process or healing. This happens for various reasons - but still I had some difficulty painting a picture of what it might look like.

A few days later I had an appointment at the doctor's office. I sat in the lone waiting room trying to keep my eyes open all the while wishing I could have a cup of coffee. That would come after the blood work. I picked up a magazine next to me and allowed it to unfold through my fingers - finally stopping it on a page about counseling. I found it interesting that the article at hand happened to of been about a couple in therapy. They tell their sides of the story and then its the therapist's turn. Ironically the therapist voiced her opinion about "sabotage." Of course feeling as if I am having a "journey moment" I perked up and leaned into the article even more.

I, once again, learned something new "sabotaging." But still needed a clearer picture of what that might look like. Behold - leave it up to the Lord to usher you into an example. Sometimes we can be told, spoken to about it, but it isn't until we are thrust inward that we really understand it. That day a situation came up. Trying to make sense of it all, I walked into the other room and heard the Lord's sweet voice - "This is sabotaging." I drew my hands up toward my cheeks and smiled - almost giggling inside. It all made sense. I understood completely - clearly.

It was a simple journey that day - with a simple sign - but a HUGE lesson. Look for the journey moments this week - ask God to help you understand things you do not understand and give Him the glory when it happens.

The Shackled One

2009-04-11T08:41:00.006-06:00

My husband and I were asked to serve at a funeral for a friend. My husband would deliver the message and I would help with the music. The couple that lost their mother wanted the service to be very evangelistic. They wanted it to be a moment for others to have opportunity to come to Christ.

The day of the service, the church filled with family and loved ones. I was touched and could feel the sweet presence of the Lord as I watched tears flow even before the service began. The woman who passed was well loved. I stood on the large stage behind the black keyboard with the microphone in front of me. I played hymns of “Amazing Grace,” “Sweet Beulah Land,” and “Sweet By and By.” I played choruses of praise and worship to the Father that gleamed upon those mourning - and so we worshipped in spirit as we waited for the service to begin.

Seconds before the service started, heads turned toward the back doors that opened. In walked a young fifteen-year-old boy. I couldn’t help but stare too as he shuffled his way down the aisle. On either side of him stood two guards holding on to his shackled arms. The chain connected to his ankles, wrapped around his wrists, through the handcuffs, and finally falling near his stomach. The clanging and clicking of the chains resounded to the high ceilings of the acoustically structured church creating uneasiness with all. The teen's long journey ended as he found his place with the other family members sitting on those first three pews. I later received information that he was a grandson to the one we were remembering. I couldn't help but wonder how shameful he must have felt - walking the long path, shackled and humiliated in front of the entire church.

I was then reminded of a journey another man took - shackled and beaten. In a sense it reminded me of Jesus. He too walked down a long road with all eyes upon him. A deep lump in my throat rose until I swallowed to push it back down. The heaviness upon my heart increased. All I could do was stare at the young teen - my heart grieving and yearning to do something about it.

My husband shared the eulogy and spoke well of the woman. Her children came up and shared from their hearts. God was moving; I could feel it. It was then my time to sing. I stood and placed my fingers on the keyboard like I have done so often. The keys were familiar and comforting. As I finished my song I felt as if God were moving among the people.

“Please help him to understand that you love him Lord.” I said to myself hoping the young teen would walk away with that much.

My husband presented a moving message about eternal life and the security that we have in knowing Christ. I stepped up for the closing music as my husband asked all eyes to be closed in the congregation. The soft flow of music filled the church as my husband asked those that wanted to know the Lord to raise their hands. I never look when he does the “Sinner’s Prayer,” but something told me to look up. I looked up quickly trying to keep my mind on the music. I looked straight up and my eyes fell upon the shackled one. At that very moment I saw his hand thrust upward towards the heavens with great passion, emotion, and without hesitation. I felt as if my heart had filled with a million tears and couldn’t hold them. I could hear the rattling of the chains as his arms extended toward the heavens - as if a cry for "Take these shackles Lord!"

The two guards found their places on either side of his elbow. The shackles remained on his hands and his feet hugging him tightly as he wobbled down the carpeted aisle to exit the church. His tiny steps slowly carried him to the front door. The chains rattled beneath his hands and against his feet adding a troublesome sound to the music playing.

I stood numb and felt as if I should do something! God eased by burden for the young teen at that very moment. I didn’t need to feel despair or hopelessness for him as I previously felt. God had done His work and done something miraculous! This young man may have walked out physically shackled, but God had broken the chains that once bound his heart. Jesus walked the the road for him, Jesus suffered the beatings for him, Jesus paid the debt for him - he was free!To free one’s heart is a freedom like no other. The shackles around his heart were replaced with the Cross. He now had the freedom to grow in Christ - change his life - he was free . . .

Thank you Jesus for suffering on that cross, carrying our burdens, and paying our debt.

God's Provison

2009-04-05T14:25:00.004-06:00

Years ago many of my friends and family members were prompting me to make a CD of my original music. I dug my heels in for quite some time. I guess deep in my heart I didn't feel I was good enough for something like that. After many prompts I agreed that I would pray about it and seek confirmation from the Lord. Sure enough after praying about it one evening, the next morning I found in the scripture to "publish my works. Sing to the world a new song."

At that moment I truly felt the Lord say that I should move forward with this project - and so I did. I raised all of the support that I needed for the project except the last $1,000.00. Suddenly everything came to a halt. At first I waited patiently but then when the months started passing by I became worried. After six months I started pleading - After nine months passed, I started trying to figure out who I could call and borrow the money from - and as it drew closer to a year I started getting angry - and with God! I became a complete mess. At the same time this was going on, no one called and asked, "Where's my CD?" No one harassed me for their product. No one approached me about any of that - they simply waited for it to come forward. After wrestling about the funds and coming to the conclusion that I could do nothing about it - I simply gave up. I surrendered. I threw my hands up in the air. I put the breaks on all of my dysfunctional emotions and released them to the Lord.

Sometimes our journey lessons do not come easily. Sometimes our journey moments and lessons are a process and take a little longer than we would like. The Israelites spent 40 years in the desert. They received lesson after lesson and yet so often they didn't "get it." Their lessons were difficult and trying. Their lessons involved becoming emotional, waiting upon the Lord, and trusting; something we all struggle with.

But God is God and all of His wisdom is greater than our thoughts or minds and we do not get to see the big picture of the puzzle until He reveals it. About a week after I surrendered everything to the Lord, I received a phone call from a woman, an older woman, who had no idea I was doing a recording project. She simply said, "Tina, I have something I would like to bring over for you."

It is not unusual for us to receive pies and goodies like that - being a pastor's family. She rang the door bell, I waited, and she handed me an envelop. She told me that she would have had it sooner but was waiting on it to come in. I didn't know what "it" was until I opened the envelop and saw the check written for $1,000.00. My heart sank. I cried. I felt horrible that I had put up such a fit about the finances when the Lord had it all figured out after all.

You see - during that waiting period, God placed upon the heart of another to bless me. He was waiting on her to act on that - she was waiting on the money so that she could act - and the Lord blessed me on the project in the meantime. God is good. He does know what He is doing. He will take care of you.

May your journey this week be a journey of hearing and waiting patiently upon the Lord - and may you see the miracle when it arrives.

Clay's Journey Moment

2009-04-03T08:10:00.006-06:00

I spoke with a friend yesterday about hearing from God. She said that she must have too much going on inside her head because she can't pick up on those things like I can. I must laugh. No - I am not some super spiritual woman who has a unique gift in hearing from God. The truth is -God is speaking all around us. He speaks to us all. His speaking can be direct or it can subtle. It can be loud or come in the form of a whisper. It can be strong or it can be gentle. It can be from His word or from His creation. His speaking could come from the storms or from the gentle rain. He can even teach us through two small ponies. He is God. He uses all things. Learning to recognize when it happens and having a heart ready to receive it is the key to a changed journey.
Clay's Journey

Psalm 20:7

"Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God."

We had quite an adventurous morning at Sweetwater ranch! Recently we had two new additions to our family. Lucas bought his mom ponies, yes not pony but ponies (2). I am sure that the meditation for today could stop right there and many of you would fall on your knees and pray for us. Now one pony is full of love and wants to be touched and handled. The other, lets say is not quite as “humble”. Their names are Oreo (the gentle one) and Scout the escape artist. I am sure that if Houdini were alive today he would be quite proud of Scout! Scout is a master at gates. The first night at our house he opened a latch on a big wooden gate and escaped from the corral to the pasture. Thinking myself to be smarter than a pony I fixed that gate. Last night Scout pushed against a fence till its latch released (a different gate) and escaped again, this time to run the country side! That gate had been latched and locked but none the less he found a way. Well with the help of Oreo, the gentle, we were able to lead them both home and put them back into the pasture.

How many times are we like Scout? God promises to meet all of our needs and yet we want what is beyond the fence. In Psalm 23 David writes "He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake." And yet we want what is beyond the fence. Often times the grass just looks too good to pass up on the other side. Surely it must taste better out there! But God wants to protect us. Being a Christian means staying inside the fence! God has given us many things to enjoy inside the fence. The world is full of dangers and pitfalls and yet we still want what is beyond the fence. The world ultimately has nothing for us as we learn in Matthew 16:26 26 "What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?"

Now a pony regardless of how smart he is doesn’t understand the dangers outside the fence but we as Christians should.

"Lord help us to stay inside the fence! Give us the strength to resist temptation and to flee from the evil one. Lord thank you for providing all that we need and for the good things in your creation we can enjoy. May we always trust in you!"

Amen

Redirected

2009-03-31T09:00:00.004-06:00

Have you ever been traveling peacefully down a road only to find that in a moment's notice you must make a detour or u-turn? The Lord often redirects our steps. When Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt, the Lord had them turning here and there and traveling way out of their way. Why?

"When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. For God said, "If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt." (Ex: 13: 17)

"Then the Lord said to Moses, "Tell the Israelites to turn back and encamp near Pi Hahiroth, between Migdol and the sea. They are to encamp by the sea, directly opposite Baal Zephon. Pharaoh will think, 'The Israelites are wondering around in the land in confusion, hemmed in by the desert.' " (Ex: 14: 1-3)

"And I will harden Pharaoh's heart, and he will pursue them. But I will gain glory for myself through Pharaoh and all his army, and the Egyptians will know that I am the Lord."

(EX: 14:4)

You see God has reasons for redirecting our steps and taking us down paths that may appear longer, more strenuous, and difficult. Though we cannot understand nor see His reasoning, there is always a plan and purpose. Rather than rising up in anger or frustration, trust in knowing that God has a greater reason and it must be important.

Story -

One day I hurried to get to the store and back. I entered the interstate and drove but a mile when the vehicles came to a stop. We have been in those situations when nothing is moving. I didn't have time to wait. Interestingly, I noticed that I sat right next to an exit. In my need for hurrying, I thought I would be smooth and smart so I took the exit to travel a different route.

It wasn't long until I came upon a young woman exiting a moving vehicle - though not moving very fast. It quickly became clear to me that she was in some kind of trouble. Tears flowed down her cheeks as the man in the vehicle screamed and yelled at her. My vehicle happened to of been traveling right behind theirs. The woman ran to the side of the road and started walking. A few more cars appeared and everyone seemed concerned and curious about the commotion in the middle of the street.

Cars pulled around me while I pulled over to the side by the middle aged woman crying and pacing forward. The mean man in the car, she had jumped out of , was now waiting for her at the next road that turned off. I rolled down my window and asked if I could help her. She grieved. She cried. She could hardly speak. I could see and sense fear. She stopped and started to get in my vehicle when the man jumped out of his vehicle and started yelling at her. She suddenly moved away from my car, still crying, and ran toward his. My heart sank as I watched her get in the car. I feared the worse would happen to her.

I then called the police to let them know about the disturbance and then I prayed. I prayed so hard for her. I had no idea who she was, what kind of trouble had occurred, or if the man was her husband. I sat on the side of the road with tears now flowing down my cheeks and asked God to protect her and to save her from such a situation. I then understood why I had taken the detour. I understood why my vehicle had stopped right next to the exit and why I had felt the nudge to take the exit. There I was thinking that I would get around the cars but God had other plans for me that day. My detour had meaning.

Today you may find yourself unable to get where you need to be in the time you need to be there. Perhaps you will find yourself stuck in traffic and taking a detour. Look for the signs. Look for God to speak to you through those things. That delay - that detour - that sudden change - just may end up having purpose after all.

Snow

2009-03-27T14:07:00.005-06:00

The Lord speaks in so many ways. One way I find the Lord speaks and teaches me is through my children. My oldest son is all grown up now - well almost - he's 16. When he was a little boy, the Lord revealed something to me through a journey moment. We lived in the Ft. Worth area of Texas. After living there several years, no snow had fallen, not one flake. Our winters weren't much of a winter. One particular Christmas the Lord revealed himself in an amazing way to one small child.

Snow:

On this crisp Christmas Eve, my five year old son and I threw on a light jacket and headed into town to rent a video game for him to play. Jaren and his tender quiet spirit rode gently next to me and I adored the time with him. His beautiful blondish hair and blue green eyes could brighten any winter day.

After our quest had been accomplished, we made our way back home enjoying the season of the colorful lights around the homes. Silence was broken when I heard, “Mom, I wish it would snow.”

I wholeheartedly agreed. I too wanted to see snow but reminded him that it doesn’t snow very much in Texas. In fact, it had not snowed where we lived in many years. If we were to get any snow at all, it would be a flurry or two. Now gazing back out our windows at the beautiful scenery I said, “Look at the rain, if it were cold enough it would be snowing right now.” I could see Jaren’s little mind working.

With such conviction he piped, “We could pray for snow!”

“Yes,” I said and before I knew it his plan was set in motion.

“Mom, you pray for it to be cold enough and I’ll pray for it to snow.”

I said okay and continued driving. He gave me a look and I asked, “Right now?”

“Yes! Right now!” he said bouncing around in his seat.

I asked if it would be okay to pray with our eyes open this time and he agreed that it would be fine. I prayed first. I asked God to please bring the cold. When I finished I heard, out of the mouth of a five-year-old, the most precious prayer. It was a prayer of faith and kindness. It was a simple prayer of a child wanting so desperately to see the beauty of the snow for the very first time.

As we finished, I began to try to explain to Jaren that sometimes God answers our prayers right away and sometimes he does not. I really did not want him to be disappointed if it didn’t snow that night. He just looked at me and smiled.

The next morning I was awakened by my youngest son Zach.

“Mom! It’s snowing!”

I immediately jumped out of bed, rushed to the window, and peered through the cold haze. To my surprise, it was snowing! I gazed upon the biggest snowflakes I had ever seen in Texas. I could not believe my eyes! It really was snowing! On Christmas Day!

My father, who was with us that Christmas, went into Jaren’s room to wake him, knowing he would be excited to see the snow. No one in the house knew that we had prayed for snow the day before. Neither Jaren nor I had watched the news that prior evening.

My father patted his back, “Jaren, wake up. It’s snowing outside!”

Jaren sat up in the bed. He looked at his grandfather, and without running to the window, he smiled and simply said, “I know.”

Journey to Walgreens

2009-03-25T20:29:00.004-06:00

Earlier in my blogging I wrote that we often run into people for a reason. I try to take note of the people I cross paths with you never know when it might become a journey moment.

Today my journey moments happened at the Walgreens. I had been sick the whole day - still trying to get over my upper respiratory infection. A friend of mine dropped off some things that I needed but forgot one item. I needed to call but also had a few errands to run. My first errand was to drop off something at Walgreens. I hurried through the door and of all things, who met me coming out? You guessed it - the woman I needed to get in touch with about the item.

I said, "Thank you God for taking care of that task for me."

Later on in the day my boys wanted a video game. We drove out to the video store, stopped for ice-cream, lattes, and m&m blasts then headed home. My oldest son reminded me that I needed to pick up something from Walgreens. I quickly turned and headed to the store. I raced through the front door and looked for a clerk who could direct me to an item I needed as well. After turning the corner I saw a clerk at the very end of the aisle. I raced toward her ready to ask my question. Before I could say anything she said, "You are David's wife right?" I noticed the tears in her eyes. I nodded and said, "Yes, I am."

She said, "Could you please come with me and pray for me?" I draped my arm around her and followed her down a secluded aisle. She shared what was on her heart and right there in the middle of Walgreens we prayed. I sensed the Spirit moving. A tingling sensation came over me and it was as if everything and everyone else had disappeared. We were standing in the presence of the Holy One - the Comforter - the All Knowing Father - the Mover of Spirits - the Blesser - the Peace Maker - the Healer. He was present. I have no idea how long we prayed - I continued on as tears rolled down her cheeks. God was present and God was moving.

Afterwards I spent some time encouraging her and she went back to work. I walked away feeling horribly ill but so thankful that the Lord chose that precise moment for me to walk into the store. I jumped in my vehicle and said to my boys, "Guess what happened to me?"

They said, "You had a journey moment?" I smiled thankful that I could be used that day - even when sick.

The Tear Drop

2009-03-23T08:12:00.003-06:00

Have you ever been in the midst of an emotional mess and at that precise moment God did something extraordinary? We all have those moments where our emotions get the better of us.

While on their journey through the desert, the Israelites faced many emotional moments. Most of those moments were directed toward Moses, whom many of them thought must have been losing his mind. The Israelites rose up against Moses time and again. My heart ached for Moses. I can't even imagine how he must have felt, after all he was only trying to follow God and the task at hand was something he really did not want to do. What happens to us during those emotional times? Can God indeed speak to us when we are falling apart? Can the Lord reach out and whisper, touch us, and embrace us? Of course he can and does. Sometimes it is not in the way we expect.

The Tear Drop

I had never been to Breckenridge Colorado, but had opportunity to go on this particular weekend. This little cottage town nestled deep within the mountains blanketed in white absolutely caused me to gasp. Skiers and snowboarders wrapped in their warm ski suits lined the sidewalks carrying their equipment. The Christmas lights gave off a festive appearance and warm glow. The buildings were draped in color and beautiful carvings seeped through the soft snow that embraced them. It was a lovely place.
I stayed at a quaint bed and breakfast just off the main street. The manager said, “You must go and see the ice sculptures.” I did and was again in awe at the grand statues. They were glorious! What artistry and gifted craftsmanship. The next day I spent all day at the wonderful Agape Outpost Chapel. I had a wonderful time at the conference and then it was time to make my way home. It snowed all day causing a lovely white to swathe the trees and the homes. At one point the snow started to fall harder and I became worried about getting down the mountain. I wanted to make it down before dark but it was too late.
On the way down I could hardly see at times due to the snow. The roads were icy and snowy. I made it through the tunnel and then the road started to descend. I turned the radio on and listened to worship music and I too worshiped in the car as I was making my way down. It was a glorious sight – grand and filled with God’s greatness – a scene that is truly difficult to explain. I looked out over the magnificent mountains with the snow falling and a part of me feared the height and blizzard like condition while another part of me wanted to stop the car and bow down to the Creator and Most High King. In the midst of my passion to bow down to the Father and my fear of driving in this mess, a song came on the radio. Natalie Grant’s “Better Hands Now” song moved me to tears; not just the song, but the presence of the Lord and the awe of His beauty. I began to weep – and weep – and for a time I had difficulty seeing. Trying to drive down the dark winding roads along with a million snow flakes hitting my windshield and then the tears falling fast, did not lend itself to my safety on getting down the mountain. I called my husband and pulled myself together. I needed to get out of the snow but the presence of the Lord was amazing.
The road wined and coiled until eventually the snow stopped and civilization surfaced. All was well and all was dry. After traveling a ways peace filled the car and I would soon be home. But then something unusual happened. The very song I heard while on the mountains came on again. I became moved yet once again! It was as if God had entered the car again and I felt His presence so strongly. “What is wrong with me Lord?” The words growled from my soul. I was a blubbering mess! The Lord was truly speaking to me through that song and His presence was evident.
Suddenly while trying to wipe away my tears so that I could see the road. I heard a sound. It was a thump on the windshield. One large drop of rain fell from the sky and landed on the windshield right in front of me. It wasn’t ice, it wasn’t snow, and it wasn’t water from my car. Startled, I looked closer to see the tear trickle down the windshield as if a tear trickling down someone’s cheek. I felt at that very moment that it might be a teardrop from God! He too was crying! I started laughing and crying all at the same time! I’m sure the people passing me thought I was some kind of crazy woman.

At that very moment God reminded me that when our hearts are stirred, God’s heart is stirred too. God reminded me that when we are moved with emotion – He is too! And so often we are moved because of the Lord’s presence. It all goes together!
When we experience the Lord’s presence it is an amazing moment. Those moments happen at different times in our lives and we must take hold of them and hang on to them and never forget that God’s love is truly unique. His expression is amazing and he does speak to us in the most unusual ways.

The Band-Aid

2009-03-16T15:05:00.003-06:00

Our journeys are filled with emotion, wounded spirits, and troubled times. One Sunday morning the Lord spoke to me in an unusual way. It was a wonderful reminder that once through those difficult times, we are left with something we can give back to others.

Story:

Sunday morning during church, one of our gifted young mothers was presenting the children’s sermon. She always had great illustrations and I was looking forward to hearing her message to the children. She brought with her a clear plastic bag of cantaloupe and an avocado to use during her illustration. As she was cutting open the avocado, the knife slipped and cut her finger. It was not a very bad cut but she did need something on it. As she continued through the children’s sermon, I remembered the band-aid that had been in my purse for a while and hurriedly searched for it. I passed it to my husband to give to her as she passed by him. With a grateful smile, she took the band-aid, said thank you, and went on her way.

I know I should have been listening more to the sermon that morning but God placed something else on my heart. As I thought about the band-aid, it occurred to me that I had had the band-aid in my purse for about a year. It was still in its wrapper and in good shape. I wanted to be ready in case something happened to one of my two boys. Instead, God had other plans for that band-aid. To tell you the truth, I had forgotten about it until that moment. What I realized that morning was that we all have something stored up that we can give. Whether it is from a passage conquered, a scripture memorized, a storm weathered, overcoming the loss of a loved one, or strength from facing the darkest times - we all have something we can give.

Like that band-aid there will be a time when God will say now - now is the time to sing the song, recite the poem, share the scripture, and help someone walk through the storm. Now is the time to share the passage that touched your heart. Now is the time to embrace the darkness with another and uphold the weak. Now is the time to share a lesson learned, a trial overcome, a desperate attempt to get it right, and a deliverance that only God can bring.

I know that a day will come when God will encourage you to take something stored up from your passed experiences and pull it from its stored place like that band-aid and say, “Here, maybe this will help.” Like the band-aid, it will be taken, whether with a smile or not, and placed upon the wound. It will be a soothing balm for the hurt. It will help stop the bleeding and it will help heal the wound. What you give will matter and it will be a reminder that your suffering was not in vein.

An Unexpected Journey Moment

2009-03-12T09:43:00.006-06:00

The silver elevator doors opened to the fourth floor and I stepped out on to the white tile. A part of me wanted to take a long pause, but adrenaline carried me forward. I turned to make my way down the wide hall when I am met with one of the hospice nurses. I continued to allow my feet to swiftly move me forward as the nurse strides beside me. “She has been comatose for a week,” came the words. “She has no family and it could be any time now.” I rushed past the plush painted hallway, took note of the long corridor, and made my way around the corner all the while listening to the medical terms flowing from the skilled woman beside me. Bits and pieces of words crowded my mind. “Am I ready for this one?” I thought to myself.

Carrying my large heavy black vinyl case in one hand and my satchel in the other, I found the hallway coming to an end. I stared at the blank wall facing me before I turned into the unknown. The room carried a dim glow colored in a cozy blanket of warmth. It was saturated with comfort. The soft plush love seat sat by the door inviting the weary to seek refuge. The furniture brought a touch of home into the room.

There she lay, flat on her back, in the single bed that has become her stronghold. Lashes adorn her face, as her pale frail body lay limp. The cream colored bedding was creased and tucked securely under her arms resting ever so gently beside her.

I sat my large keyboard down and turned to look more closely at the room. “What can I place the keyboard on?” I said to myself. Beside her bed stood a tall sturdy brown tray. I gently removed her plastic pink pitcher of water and placed it on the nightstand next to the soft glow of the lamp.

I placed my hand upon her arm and gently stroked it calling her name. A faint whisper of a breath flowed from her discolored lips. She is breathing, yet there is still no movement. Silence takes over and for a moment I stand and stare at her wondering what she was once like; wondering what kind of things she enjoyed in life.

“Where is her family?,” I uttered beneath my breath as the sound of the zipper on my case filled the room. I bent to place the keyboard on the tray when my head turned toward the window. Through the tinted glass frame a burn of orange and red held onto the sky surrounding every inch of it with it’s soft tender beauty. There in the middle of the painted picture stood a shadow; a perfect silhouette of a church. Its tall regal steeple flowed through the window filling the room with majesty. The room filled with affection. “What a beautiful picture for someone about to take her last breath. If only she could see it.”

My mouth opened and poured forth a melody familiar to most ears. “Amazing Grace” I sang. I sang as a precious sweet spirit made itself known. I sang as the glow of warmth flowed through upon us. I sang with passion to the woman before me as my hands touched her shoulder and my eyes gazed upon the silhouette of the church. Harmonies vibrated across the room as if angels themselves were singing and I was amazed at what I heard knowing that it could not be coming from me. And then I stopped.

She moved. I paused as if I were a statue soaking in every detail of what was happening before me. She opened her hazy eyes and my lips curved ever so slightly. I called her name. She gathered every ounce of energy within her to bring forth a crooked smile as well.

“Would you like to hear more music?” I placed her hand in mine.

All was silent once again but the small breath flowing from her lungs. I watched and waited patiently and then it happened. The gentle squeeze of her hand in mine became the message.

And so I sang.

“Amazing Grace how sweet the sound . . .”

Spills

2009-03-11T14:25:00.004-06:00

My youngest son stood at the refrigerator with his wild blueberry Trix yogurt. He had already opened it and readied himself to have it for breakfast. Suddenly my oldest son came running past him knocking the yogurt out of his brother’s hand. I heard screams of “ugh!” I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. The yogurt left my son’s hand with such force that it flew across the dining room floor just as a stone skips across the lake. It started at one end of the room and ended half way across the other side leaving blue streaks along the cream colored carpet. That would be spill number one -

That very night I decided to make home made pizzas for dinner. Knowing that everyone had an activity to get to, I hurriedly grabbed the jar of sauce and twisted with all my strength. While doing so, the lid slipped out of my hand causing the pizza sauce to skyrocket through the air leaving red streaks all over my entire kitchen! I honestly have no idea how that happened.

Time stopped after those brief seconds as I stood in the middle of a volcanic eruption. It landed on the appliances, the bread, the microwave, the floor, the counter and anything else sitting close by. I couldn’t believe my eyes! It looked as if someone placed the sauce in a blender and left the lid off. Spill number two.

Its strange how God uses things to speak to us. Who would have thought that he could have used the spills that day to speak to me, but he did. The next morning I sat at the small table staring at that blue streak on the carpet, trying to figure out how I was going to get it out. The kids were off to school and my husband off to work. In the silence of the moment, I felt God speak to me. I heard Him say so gently, “Tina, there will be spills in your life.” I somehow seemed to understand what He meant by that. He was speaking of not only the domestic spills but the spiritual, social, relationship, and physical spills we all have in our lives. I understood that sometimes the spills would be from an accident like my two boys and the yogurt, and sometimes by choice, either way we face spills that need cleaning. Some spills will wipe away easily like the sauce on the cabinets while others will become deeply embedded leaving a very obvious stain.

I continued to gaze at the carpet and ask myself, “What can wash away that stain?” At that very moment, a sweet sound entered my mind and I began to sing, “Nothing but the blood of Jesus.” My lips creased creating a smile not only on my face but in my heart. That was the answer to all of our spills in life – stained or not.

2009-03-09T08:58:00.003-06:00

Every day is a new day and each day brings something - whether frustration, exhaustion, or excitement, there is something to grab hold of. Yesterday was a day of the unexpected for me as well as the expected. While on my way to a church as the guest worship leader, I did the expected - got lost. Though a good sized church it literally is out in the middle of nowhere. People are amazed that this church out in a dry field miles away from any town could be growing so much.

My husband decided to show me a short cut down the back roads. Well of course I took a wrong turn and everything ended in disaster - well almost. Besides the time change, I also had an hour drive to get there and was now on a time crunch - praying the whole time that no policemen were out on this Sunday morning. (sorry Lord for speeding)

While I had an idea I might be on the right road, I could not see any of the road signs due to the blazing sunrise. My sunshades had no effect on the intense glare. I was now driving right into the bright light and could hardly stay on the road. I drove a long while still unsure if I was going the right way or not. Now frustrated and losing my mood for worship, I cried out to God with, "I need some help Lord! I really need help!." Still speaking to God I said, "I have no idea where I am. I can't see a thing! How will I ever find this church! Help me, please Lord."

Suddenly at that very moment a patch of fog moved swiftly in front of the glaring sunlight covering it and allowing me to finally see the road and roadsigns. I looked up at it and smiled - giving God a huge thank you from my heart and then I noticed something else. At the end of the patch of fog covering the sun - and only in that spot - was the tip of a rainbow. There at the bottom of the patch was a section of a rainbow! "Where did that come from?" I thought. I had to giggle. At that very moment I really felt the Lord saying, "Tina, the church is here - at the end of this rainbow."

So I followed the rainbow. I followed in that direction. With the help of my map that I could now see and the placement of the rainbow I traveled right to the church without any further problems. Thank you Lord!

Sometimes we face frustration and anxiety while on our journey. It is absolutely okay to cry out to God during those times of need. Remember that Moses faced so many oppositions and frustration while on his journey - but each time he always went to God, sought direction, and then paused for God to speak. Look for the signs - God does speak and he does care about guiding his children toward the rainbows.

God - In the Midst of Our Needs

2009-03-06T08:42:00.004-07:00

We are definitely a needy society. We need our televisions, cell phones, computers, and ipods. We need our dishwashers, washers, dryers, and microwaves. What would our kids ever do without their game systems, shopping malls, designer clothes, and eating out?

We have become so needy and spoiled that it would cause great devastation if this country ever had to live without restaurants, valet parking, and dry cleaning. I confessed to my son the other day that I am truly thankful for having a washer and dryer. When I was a little girl, I remember my sister and I having to put on our shorts, climb into the bathtub with it full of clothes, and stomp on them as if we were stomping on grapes. You see, we were the washing machine.
I feel blessed and am very thankful to the Lord for His provisions.

We not only have physical needs, but we also have emotional needs for the Lord to take care of.
How can God speak to us in the midst of our needs?

After the Israelites crossed the red sea they practically ran at full speed from the Egyptians. The Bible says that they traveled for three days without finding water. When they finally found water it was bitter - they had a need. They needed water, they needed rest, they needed God.

If God was leading then why would He lead them to water that was bitter? God was teaching - and was doing so through their need. This was one of the many lessons that would come from the Lord.

You can read more about their journey in Exodus chapter 15

A Need for Confirmation

In my younger days, I had the incredible opportunity to perform in an outdoor musical drama called “Texas.” It’s a wonderful drama still existing today and sells out just about every summer. I performed in the drama for two years and loved every minute of it. I had no idea that one day God would use that experience to speak to me and to confirm some decisions in my life.
My husband was called to pastor another church after graduating from seminary. This meant that we would be moving from our home state to another state. The church called us and we were in the process of moving. On the way to our new state, we stopped in Canyon to see the show one last time. As with any big move, we wondered if we were truly doing the right thing.
At the very end of the show, a train rolls up and stops to let people off. I was very familiar with the train, as I often stood right beside it during that particular scene in the show. I remembered everything about the show except what was written on the train. My husband and I watched as the train entered the stage. There, on the side of the train were the words, “Ft. Worth To Denver.” Why had we not noticed that before?
That was our confirmation. That was what we needed. We were moving from a small town fifty miles east of Ft. Worth to a small town fifty miles north of Denver. I had a need that day – a need for one last piece of confirmation. God took care of that need for me. We were able to get up the next morning and make our way to the place God wanted us to be.

Look for God to speak to you through and during a need that you have. The lessons will come, you can hear from God and have a successful journey. After the Lord's lesson to the Israelites the Lord led them to a place of rest - Elim. Elim had twelve springs and seventy palm trees! God really does care about our needs.

I've Been Sick

2009-03-05T13:06:00.003-07:00

Hello All -

I am so sorry I have not blogged in almost a week but I had the flu along with two other members in my family. As you can imagine I have been busy taking care of them and myself! I hope to get back into blogging this next week.

I hope your journey has been going well and you are finding God in the details of it all. When the Israelites first left Egypt they had no idea how to follow God, find God, or see God. We learn from Exodus that God created those moments where He tried to teach, guide, and reveal Himself to the Israelites. The Israelites had great difficulty in understanding that God was the only true and one God; that the God of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob could be the only God they would ever need. The Israelites were raised, generation after generation, in Egypt and understood that the Egyptian culture was to follow and worship many gods. The Egyptians created a god for almost everything. Part of God having the Israelites wonder around so aimlessly in the desert was to teach them that God is the only true God.

Sometimes our lessons do not come easily - as exampled by the Israelite's journey - however - the lessons do come, God is teaching, God is trying to lead us, and we can find Him in the details of our journey.

Praying for a successful journey!

Remember To:

Focus on Him daily

Get to know Him - you cannot follow someone you do not know- read the Word

Look for the signs - He can speak to us through resources

Take notice of the people you come into contact with - God can speak to you through them

Watch out for those unusual events and moments - what is going on?

Mora Than Just a Box of Cards

2009-02-27T10:27:00.007-07:00

Sometimes we face unusual events while on our journey. Sometimes God leads us to that unusual object, bizarre encounter with a stranger, and unfathomable quest of it all - not for ourselves - but for others. Several years back the Lord thrust me into a moment of His working. In the end - it all made sense.

I love going to yard sales. In fact, I am a yard sale fanatic! However, I must confess that I am not an “early morning yard-saler.” I have always heard that, “the early bird gets the worm.” Well, unfortunately, I miss out on breakfast much of my life. I just can’t seem to get up and get moving at the crack of dawn. I operate on the idea that God knows exactly what I need and if it isn’t there when I get to the sale, then I guess I really didn’t need it.

One sultry summer day pillows of cotton hung in the baby blue sky and I basked in the glorious day that God provided. What made it even more glorious was that He provided a yard sale for me to stop at on my way into town! (I love that God of ours!)

I said my thanks to God, parked the car, and off I went like a horse out of the shoot. After scanning the area, I walked over to an extra large box of old cards. There were greeting cards, birthday cards, valentine cards and every card you could have imagined. Someone had a great collection. I started pulling out cards that I felt my mother would like. She sends cards every year for every occasion and never misses.

While rummaging through the stack, a young woman came over to me and asked,
“Would you like the whole box?”

“Oh, no,” I responded, “I’m just trying to find a few for my mom.”

“Well, I am about to close and you can have the whole box for five dollars.”

I hesitated for a moment and replied, “Okay - I may as well take the whole box.”

When I finally had time to sort through the box, I realized that I had stumbled upon a treasure. The box was filled with antique containers of unopened stationary. There were postcards, sticky notes, and large stacks of writing paper. I found all sizes and shapes of cards. There were pop-up cards, three-dimensional cards, button cards, and cards with pins in the center. I found coloring books, plastic cups, plates, and napkins, all created by the same person and all unopened. I stumbled upon someone’s Betsy Clark collection! I didn’t know who Betsy Clark was, but according to her cards, she wrote for Hallmark.

I immediately called my mother and shared about the treasure. My Mom‘s high-pitched shrill let me know of her excitement. After our discussion, we both agreed that the collection should remain together.

For about one month I searched and prayed about what I should do with the box of cards. I called antique malls, flea markets, as well as the cute little shops in our downtown area – never-the-less, I was unsuccessful in finding the cards a home.

In the meantime, my mother-in-law came for a visit. She, being a collector of antiques herself, was in awe over the found treasure. We agreed, once again, that a collector should have the box. After our wonderful visit together she and my father-in-law left to make their way back home to Montana.

My husband soon received word that his parent’s van broke down in a small town somewhere along the way home. A man out of nowhere immediately stopped to help and escorted them to one of the pastor’s homes in the area. I, being a pastor’s wife myself, felt an immediate bond.

It wasn’t but a day later when I received an urgent message from Mona to please call her. The urgency in her voice concerned me so I quickly returned her call. Mona shared her story about the van breaking down and how they miraculously ended up at a pastor’s home. She then began sharing with me about the pastor’s wife.

“Tina” she said, “When I first walked into their home, the first thing I noticed was the Betsy Clark collection! It was everywhere!”

“No!” I shouted overly excited. “I can’t believe it!”

We both chuckled and giggled for a while on the phone, reading each other’s thoughts.

“God sure went to a lot of trouble to bless someone!” We laughed. This woman had been collecting Betsy Clark since the seventies. She had every Betsy Clark piece imaginable (well almost). As my gift to her, I sent the entire box of Betsy Clark collections.

I have no idea why I am always amazed at the length God travels to bless someone or show His love for them. A woman in Colorado had a box of cards. I stumbled upon the yard sale at just the right moment – to get the entire box. My in-laws had to break down in a small town on their way to Montana. A stranger had to come along at the precise time and then escort them to the correct pastor’s home just for a pastor’s wife to get a box of cards? Maybe there’s more to this journey of ours? This particular journey was for more . . . than just a box of cards.

Rita's Journey - A Precious Stone

2009-02-25T09:01:00.007-07:00

"My husband and I had done errands and seen a movie. During a stop at the supermarket, I felt something sharp on my left hand. I was shocked to find the prongs on my engagement ring empty. No diamond! As we re-traced our steps through the store, I prayed for God to help us find the stone. The search turned up nothing. After leaving name and phone number with the cashier, we left for home. The manager had told us he would have the store swept. During the drive home, we considered asking our insurance agent if the company would pay a claim for a new diamond. I was already missing the stone I had worn for 43 years. The house was searched in the areas where I thought it could be. No diamond. The stone could have fallen in any one of the five places we had been that afternoon. As I put away the groceries, a strong urge grew to go take a look in the back seat area of my car. I opened the car door, and there was the diamond shining against the black floor mat. It never looked more beautiful. My immediate response was a joyful, "thank you, Lord; you are awesome."

Rita H.

As you can imagine Rita's precious stone could have been anywhere. What I love about Rita's journey moment is that she yielded to the discernment of the Holy Spirit. That nudge and pressing from the Lord could have been easily pushed aside. Who knows how long it would have taken for Rita to find her stone as well as relief. The Lord wanted her to have that relief and to have her precious stone. Rita listened to the prompting and obeyed. We all have those moments when we second guess our feelings and thoughts but just suppose the Lord is trying to speak to you - get your attention - teach you something at that very moment. Do we yield or do we push it aside? If we listen He will guide us - He will teach us - and He will lead us to those very precious stones that we can grab hold of and take with us.

May your journey be successful today and may you find God in all things.

Recognizing The Lord in the Midst of a Storm

2009-02-23T09:47:00.005-07:00

Sometimes you can spend all the time in the world with God and still not recognize Him. Why is that? We have all been there - done it - and come away scratching our heads when it is over.

You gotta love those disciples. One particular day the apostles returned to Jesus after their tour of ministry. Everyone was so tired. Jesus said to them, "Let's get away from the crowds for a while and rest." (Mark 6: 31) As a pastor's wife I can certainly understand the need for those moments of sweet rest.

Of course we all know the story, a crowd gathered and the end result was the feeding of five thousand with five loaves of bread. "Immediately after this, Jesus made his disciples get back into the boat and head across the lake to Bethsaida, while he sent the people home. Afterward he went up into the hills by himself to pray." (Mark 6: 45-46)

At some point in the middle of the night, a storm hit and Jesus saw that the disciples were in "serious trouble" on the lake. They were "rowing hard and struggling against the wind and waves." (Mark 6: 48) Isn't it amazing how that very thing happens to us in life? Without warning storms hit - we panic and begin to struggle just like the disciples.

The Bible doesn't say that the disciples actually called out for Jesus. What would you do? I am sure they called out something or maybe they were too busy fighting the waves and trying to stay in the boat.

About 3:00am Jesus came to the disciples walking on water. This is the part I love because it truly hits home. "When they (the disciples) saw him walking on the water, they screamed in terror, thinking that he was a ghost. They were all terrified when they saw him." (Mark 6: 49-50)

I'm laughing. I guess it would startle me too. After all Jesus didn't tell them he could walk on water. What really hit home for me was the fact that the disciples could spend every waking moment with Jesus, travel with him throughout the country, see his miracles, hear his teachings, and still not recognize him during a storm. Does that sound familiar?

Sometimes when we are in the midst of the storm, struggling and working hard against it, God is not so obvious when he shows up. In fact it startles us at first. Our eyes are some other place. But when we hear, "It's all right. I am here! Don't be afraid." (Mark 6: 50) and Jesus climbs in the boat with us - then we see the storm calm, the seas settle, and the boat stops rocking. Once again we are astonished - just like the disciples.

God will show up in the midst of your storms, He will climb in the boat with you, and He will either ride the storm out with you or he will settle it - either way know that God is there. God is there whispering . . . "It's all right. I am here! Don't be afraid."

A Child's Gift

2009-02-21T19:51:00.003-07:00

I have no idea why I am always amazed when God speaks to me. Do I not expect it everyday? I should and I teach it. When it finally happens the message seems unbelievable - Why?

A friend asked if I would be interested in going to children's camp with her as a sponsor. I agreed and felt deeply blessed. The girls were a joy! My friend has a gift of giving as well as serving. Her passion to minister and bring others to Christ truly is a testimony of her character and love for God. I honestly have no idea how she gets it all done! I thought I wore a million hats.

Her selfless acts of love spilled over into our week. My first day there I walked into the room to find a gift sweetly wrapped. There it lay with a card, “Thank you for being the girl’s counselor.” Like a warm embrace I felt touched and surprised! The aroma from the gift filled the room. I loved it!

The next day another gift came, only this time I felt even more blessed because it was from some of the girls. The day after that came several more gifts! The gifts sat neatly on the bed with a sweet note written on it - “Thank you Miss Tina!” What a blessing! At some point I realized that the girls used their camp spending money to bless us! I will never forget their act of love. The girls did not know how God was going to use them or their gifts to bless me in more than one way.

A week after our time at camp, I became overwhelmed with worry about my son. He had been sick and having tests run. On this particular day I feared the worst. I wanted my son to be well and not have to suffer anymore. I did not want to think the worst. “I know you are the healer,” I thought to the Lord. “I know I shouldn’t think the worst,” I said aloud. Nevertheless, for some reason I had a very bad feeling about it all. Suddenly, in the midst of my fear, I hung my head down and caught a glimpse at one of the gifts given to me by one of the girls. It was a bracelet made of red, white, and blue beads. Between the beads hung a small oval shaped pewter jewel. Engraved on the plate were the words – FEAR NOT.

The words penetrated deeply and I absorbed it all as if a sponge. A peace came over me and I felt as if I had been transferred to another place. “Fear Not,” I said to myself. I said it again with authority and joy. "FEAR NOT!" I will Not Fear! Somehow at that moment the Lord seemed to grab hold of it and release it from my back. He does cast out all fear! I thanked God right then for reminding me of His goodness. I thanked Him for always giving me His peace, but most of all, I thanked Him for a child’s gift that spoke to me in a very incredible way.

God Speaks Through Resources

2009-02-18T14:43:00.007-07:00

What is a resource and can God speak to us through those kinds of things? According to Webster:

Resource: Noun

1. Available source of wealth; a new or reserve supply that can be drawn upon when needed.
2. A source of aid or support that may be drawn upon when needed: "the local library is a valuable resource".
3. The ability to deal resourcefully with unusual problems; "a man of resource".

God is one of great resources. He created them as well as gave man the ability to create. Our world is filled with resources. With that said, of course God can speak to us through resources. When God led the Israelites out of Egypt and through the desert what resource did he use to do it? He used the pillar of fire by night and a pillar of cloud by day. Some scholars believe that it is one in the same - fire. By day the Israelites could see the smoke from the fire but not the flames. By night they could see the flames but not so much the smoke. Either way, God used that resource to lead them and to guide them along the way and of course He would use the resources of their time.

We are fortunate in that today's society, we have many resources and God can use any number of them to speak to us. We have all heard the song on the radio at just the right time, the billboard with the words that tend to jump out at us, and even the message on the side of a van that touches our heart.

This past year a friend of mine lost her husband in a tragic vehicle accident. He left his young wife with four children all below the ages of 13. I had just finished teaching the lesson at her house on Resources and how God can speak to us through them. The day of the funeral and after the graveside service, she went back to the grave and sat beside it. Crying and trying to understand everything, she called out to God for help. She said that at that very moment a carpet cleaning van drove by. On the side of the van the words - "Heaven's Best" was written on it. Those words penetrated her heart, tugged at her soul, and embraced her grief as if God Himself were speaking. Then came some sense of peace, reassurance, and comfort for at that very moment she understood God to reveal to her that heaven was best for her husband.

It didn't mean that she could get up and walk away - never grieving again - no. It meant that somehow in the midst of her suffering and struggling to make sense of it all - God reached out and gave her comfort - He spoke to her and of all things through a carpet cleaning van.

God tries to get our attention every day and we miss it. He wants to be able to speak to us. God wants to have our attention. He does not want us to go through life miserable and lost. He wants us to know that He does speak and in so many ways. Search for the Lord this week. Find him in the details of your day. Allow God to penetrate your heart with His words . . . whatever form they may come in.

For more information about More Than Just a Journey Bible study click here.

Puzzled By Life?

2009-02-16T13:10:00.009-07:00

We have all faced loss while on our journey. Every loss if different and we tend to handle our grief in different ways. I am sure you will remember 9-11 in 2001? That horrific incident hurt our entire country. On October 7, 2001 - Almost one month to the day - my family would not only grieve for our country and the starting of the war but we would grieve a personal loss as well. Some things in life are puzzling and we do not always understand but this I do know - the Lord will never leave us or forsake us and He will always be there to help us through those most difficult times.
I learned that even in the midst of our grief we can still find God in the details of it all. He truly works in all things, speaks in all things, and dwells in all things.

Read Puzzled By Life?

The Mysterious Valentines

2009-02-13T14:09:00.009-07:00

I pulled out of our snug little neighborhood of only eight months and drove my two boys to the local grocery store to buy valentines for their classmates. Zach, my youngest, was as gentle as a newborn kitten and just as vibrant. His sandy soft brown hair framed his big blue eyes and ivory skin. My oldest son Jaren was tiny and frail - small for his age. He had such a tender heart and everyone adored his soft blond highlights that gently softened his ivory skin and and blue-green eyes. They were beautiful, but of course, I would think so, being their mother.

Zach had energy enough to last all day and I believe he used up every bit of it. He was always thinking of something to do and getting into things he shouldn’t.

“Mom, make sure I have some valentines left over,” Zach said sly and cunning. I had no idea why he wanted them, but agreed.

I stood over the stove and watched as he addressed the ones for his classmates and then began addressing the rest.

“What are you going to do with those valentines, Zach?” I asked as he worked diligently.

“It’s a secret,” He replied, looking up at me with such a sweet sneaky smile that I had to smile as well.

After Zach signed his name, he began to gather his things and recruit his older brother to help him with his mission. They huddled in a corner near by and filled the room with whispers. I pretended not to notice, but kept a close eye overall.

“All right! Let’s Go!” Zach shouted.

“Remember what we’re going to do?” he asked his older brother.

“Yeah! I remember,” Jaren said and they were off.

They hustled towards the door, their feet carrying them as fast as they could go.

“Hey! Where are you two off to?” I had to ask.

“We’re just playing in the cul-de-sac mom,” Zach answered.

“Okay, but stay together and remember not to go out of the cul-de-sac.”

“We will!” they both shouted excitedly, slamming the door behind them.

I stood in the moment of silence until curiosity got the better of me. I guess I had to be a nosy mother at this point - so began my snooping. I slowly pulled back the ivory-laced curtains that adorned our large window.

“Where are those boys and what are they up to?” I asked as my nose and half my face slowly peered through the window. I held the lacy curtains close to the other side of my face hoping to stay out of sight.

Suddenly I saw a head drop down behind a car that was parked in one of the driveways of a neighbor’s home. I dropped the curtain and looked closer trying to figure out what they were doing hiding in our neighbor’s yard.

I watched as they went to the next neighbor’s house. My eyes focused on my son as he rang the doorbell, knocked on the door, and then scampered behind one of the cars. Panic stricken, I gasped, stood straight up hitting my head on the side of the window.

“I am going to get those boys!” I yelled, rubbing my head.

I stumbled over the couch to get to the front door as fast as I could, the whole while hot lava began to ascend within me.

“How could they do such a thing?” “I know I raised them better than to torment our neighbors like that!”

Groping for the handle, I finally fell through the front door. Catching myself with my hands, I stood up and opened my mouth to call, “Boys!” It was then that something caught attention.

By this time, they were at the next house. I watched Zach take out a small white envelop from his pocket. I could tell that it was crinkled and worn. He took the envelop and placed it at the base of the neighbor’s front door. He then proceeded with his routine of ringing the doorbell, knocking on the door, and then scampering behind one of the cars.

His older brother applauded him and shouted his approval, “Okay! Come on! Hurry up!”
They both giggled the whole while, hardly able to contain themselves.

A middle-aged woman with dark hair opened the door and glanced around the corner. She looked side to side and around the door. I stood on my front step watching her every move. Her forehead crinkled and her lips puckered. Frustration took over and left her puzzled.

“Look down. Look down,” I whispered to myself, standing on the front steps.

She held the door with both hands and slowly pulled it towards her as if to shut it, still fixing her eyes out at the open yard.

I grabbed my face with both hands and wanted to shout, “Look down!”

The boys were nestled behind the vehicle with the tips of their heads in view and all four eyes intensely turned toward the woman.

Right before the door was pulled fully closed her eyes caught the envelop at her feet. She cautiously picked it up and looked around again. Standing in the doorway her fingers slid through the seal and opened the folded leaf. Carefully she pulled out a red card. It was one of my son’s extra valentines.

At a snail's pace, her droopy lips curved ever so slightly until a large smile embraced her. The crinkled brows were now smooth and uplifted. Her face softened as she continued to read the valentine. I have no idea what the valentine said, but knew that whatever it read was sufficient for her.

At that moment, I wanted to cry. I know - I'm a sappy mother. There I was ready to tear into both boys, thinking that they were up to no good and what I received was a sweet surprise. A sweet surprise just like the others were receiving.

As soon as the woman closed the door the boys galloped off to the next house. I stood from a distance and kept my eyes upon them the whole while. They had no idea a mother’s glow was not far behind them. I was beaming. One by one doors were opened, faces were lightened, and smiles were formed. That day they went to all the houses in the cul-de-sac as well as the ones on the next block. They traveled to every house until their hands were emptied of the valentines.

I was proud of them for giving to those whom they did not know. I was proud of them for sharing this simple gift and revealing to me such an act of love. That was the best valentine’s gift I could have ever received and I believed that for many, the mystery valentine, was the best gift they had ever received.

My son is in middle school now and of course life is different for a middle schooler - but for several years he continued his tradition of passing out the mysterious valentines. I'll never forget those moments of:

“Mom, Valentine’s day is almost here. We have to go get the valentines.”

I smiled, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and said, “Let’s go sweetie, the neighbors will be waiting.”

Like Lena - God Speaks in the Silence

2009-02-12T19:30:00.013-07:00

When Lena laughed, her whole body jiggled like a bowl of Jell-O. She certainly knew how to laugh and her laughter caused a domino effect as it trickled onto others and they too began to laugh. Lena, a senior in high school, had a round body and big rosy cheeks. Her smile covered her entire face leaving only her squinty eyes.

Getting to know Lena was extremely difficult because she could not speak. She would not make eye contact with anyone she didn’t know and Lena was very tactile defensive. If someone approached her, she would pull her arms inward and up close to her side. She would then turn her head and body away from that person and let out a very strong vocal cry. Like an injured bird her harsh call could be heard throughout the school. Lena had no way of really communicating with anyone except through her own gestures that she made up and a few signs she learned from sign language. She was trapped.

One day a thought occurred to me, “I wonder if Lena could learn to use a communication board?”

I spoke with the teachers and introduced the Mayer Johnson Communication Board systems to them. This was a simple device where pictures were used to help an individual speak. The teachers immediately took action and before I knew it, the school was installing the system for Lena. Of course today that system would be outdated.

The task of opening up a completely new world for Lena had begun. That last year of school, Lena learned to communicate with others in a new and fresh way. The teachers mentioned that they wished they had known about the Board Maker sooner. They spoke about the things Lena could have learned had they known about that system before her senior year.

By the end of her senior year, she was “talking up a storm” so to speak. She carried a communication board around with her all the time. She would often approach me, tug at my shirt, and point to a symbol on the board. She and I were able to have a conversation and even though I could not hear her voice, she still spoke.

Sometimes, when I open up the Bible and read a passage it says exactly what I am feeling. Many times I open up the Bible to read something and it is as if God is trying to speak to me through that passage or scripture. The scripture comes alive - pops out at me - and pricks my heart in deep places. Something stands out and there is a strong stirring. I know then that God is speaking to me through His word.

I used to look at it in disbelief and say, “How could that happen?” - but not anymore. Now I know. I know that God speaks . . . even though I cannot always hear His voice . . . He still speaks and in so many ways.

Open up your Bible, get to know God, and have a dialogue with Him. Before we can find Him in the details of our walk we must build that relationship. I’m sure you can pick your best friend out of a large crowd – but what about finding God in the details of your life? Will you be able to recognize when He is speaking to you and in what way? - You can have a successful journey with the Lord!

The Voice of God

2009-02-09T13:19:00.020-07:00

Hannah prayed that God would send her a child. . . He did. As soon as Samuel was weaned, Hannah took him to the temple of the Lord and gave him back to the Lord. I imagine that it took great courage and love for the Lord for Hannah to be able to release her son. Samuel would now be raised by the priests in the temple.

One night while Samuel slept he heard a voice call his name.

"Samuel answered, "Here I am." And he ran to Eli and said, "Here I am; you called me." (1 Sam:3:4)

The Bible says that "in those days the word of the Lord was rare." (1 Sam3:1) Even though Samuel lived in the temple, worshiped in the temple, and grew up in the temple, he did not recognize the voice of the Lord. Eli told Samuel that he did not call for him and to go back and lay down. Samuel obeyed and went and laid back down.

"Again the Lord called, "Samuel!" (1 Sam:3:6) Samuel got up again, went to Eli, and said, "Here I am; you called me."

Eli told Samuel once again that he did not call for him. "The Lord called Samuel a third time and Samuel got up and went to Eli." At that moment Eli realized that the Lord was calling Samuel and he told Samuel that if God called again say, "Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening."

God did call Samuel's name again and Samuel did respond. We will have those moments on our journey when we hear a sound, a voice, a whisper, or something we are unsure of. "Can it be?" we might ask ourselves. Many of us will dismiss it or say "I must be hearing things."

Samuel did not recognize the voice of the Lord because he didn't know Him. "Now Samuel did not yet know the Lord. The word of the Lord had not yet been revealed to him." (1 Sam: 3:7) Good knews for us - we can know God. The word of the Lord is available to us anytime we want it. We can have a personal relationship with him. The lessons are there for us - we just need to dig in and get to know Him. Below is a personal moment from a young woman who took my Journey class. I asked her if I could share her experience with you and she agreed.

"This specific moment actually happened to me during our class. I am really not sure why I didn't share it. I guess a part of me was a little scared because I still don't know what it means. Ok, here goes."

"I was laying in bed one night feeling very emotional and lost. I had been out in Colorado away from my loved ones for a long time. It seemed like everything I had planned was not working out. Before I went to bed I sort of just rushed a prayer, "God, do I stay or do I go?" Later that night I woke up to hear a voice I have never heard, and can barely describe, say, "Stephanie, this is the voice of the Lord, stay." I was very startled and started shaking. Then I heard almost a laugh, like one you'd make when a child asks a silly question. The voice then said, "Do not be afraid. Stephanie, this is the voice of the Lord, stay." After that I went right back to sleep. I still don't know what is out here for me in Colorado, but I'm glad I decided to stay."
Stephanie

God still speaks - he spoke back then and He will speak today. Build that relationship with Him, study His word, listen for His voice, and your journey will be changed. God will speak to you and you will find God in the details of your journey.

A Journey of Love

2009-02-04T13:37:00.009-07:00

“Greater love has no one than this that he lay down his life for his
friends. ”John 15:13

“Katie,” “Please hold your head up,” I said while walking her back to her classroom. I looked to find Katie’s eyes to the floor and her fingers spinning the invisible web. Katie’s head clung to the floor and I wondered how she could find her way anywhere around the school. Most of the time her eyes would be closed – it was her way of keeping everything out.

She was a sweet elementary student of mine that I enjoyed very much. Katie was diagnosed with severe autism along with other developmental delays. Her vocabulary was very limited and she needed a large amount of prompting to engage in any activities. In fact, Katie needed a great deal of prompting just to answer a question or to speak any words at all. Although her sentences consisted of one-word utterances, the bond between us, spoke a language of its own; a language that only she and I understood.

After a few moments of silence, I felt Katie slip her hand gently into mine. Her hand was warm to the touch and very relaxed which rarely ever happened. She was usually extremely tactile defensive. (Meaning she did not want or like to be touched)

At that moment I heard, “Miss Tina?”

I turned with her hand in mine and responded, “Yes?”

With her head still hanging down she said, “Do you love me too much?”

I turned in amazement to focus on one of the most beautiful complete sentences I have ever heard. For Katie to speak a complete sentence was indeed a miracle that did not happen very often. She suddenly lifted her head somewhat to make eye contact with me and I watched once again, astonished as the curve of her lips curled ever so slightly. I will never forget that smile or that moment.

I seemed to understand what Katie meant by that sentence. Not do you love me too much, but do you love me very much! I smiled back as my heart bubbled, “Yes Katie, I love you too much!” I wanted to grab hold of her and give her a big hug, but I knew that in Katie’s case a gentle more subtle hug would mean the same.

On the way home that day I reflected on Katie and those words. I thought of how little she knew and appeared to understand compared to most students. I thought of those few simple words that flowed from her tongue and how even to her they had meaning.

My thoughts moved to our comparison to God. We know so little and appear to understand so little compared to our heavenly Father, yet we can still find and comprehend love . . . just like Katie.

I love the passages in Job where God truly represents how great and powerful He is. He says to Job, “Can you raise your voice to the clouds and cover yourself with a flood of water? Do you send the lightening bolts on their way? Do they report to you? Who has the wisdom to count the clouds? Who endowed the heart with wisdom or gave understanding to the mind?”

“Who gave understanding to the mind?” I thought again reflecting back on Katie. I imagined that Katie could not express half as much as she really knew. She was brighter than anyone imagined.

There is so much more in the Bible that expresses how powerful and wise God is - and with all that power God gave us the ability. . . .to love. That in itself is power, that in itself is strength, and that in itself is amazing.

When does it happen? When is the heart so touched that with every beat it produces passion, desire, patience, kindness, and selflessness? When does love begin to take over so much that we would lay down our life for another? To love as Christ truly loved we could never do or understand. We can read about His love, study it, and try to follow it, but in my own heart I feel we have just touched the surface of how deep His love really is. One thing we can do is to strive to have that love for one another – that is something we can move forward in learning and doing. The only way to do that is through Christ. It is only through His love that we can love to begin with. It is only through His love that we love when we don't feel like it. It is only through His love that we can love those we hate. Christ gives us the ability to love. Christ’s love is indeed immeasurable but not untouchable.

To love as Katie does, I could never understand, for she has her own way of doing so. I may not be able to measure her love but I learned that day that her love was not untouchable.

I continued to drive quietly home reflecting on God and His greatness when I found myself asking, “Lord, do you love me too much?”

The Lord seemed to understand what I meant. Like a warm blanket covers a child suddenly I hear a whisper, “Yes, Tina, I love you too much!”

It's Not About You

2009-02-02T13:59:00.011-07:00

"It's not about you it's about God." It seems as if I am hearing so much of that lately. Saturday evening I heard Charles Stanley preach those words. Sunday morning one of our praise team members said the same words to me in a private conversation. A little while into the service another man testified and shared the exact words again! "Okay!" I said to the Lord. "You must be trying to tell me something." I have learned to take notice when things like that happen.

In my Bible study More Than Just a Journey, that I wrote and often teach, I share in the second lesson that God speaks through others. On our journey we will come into contact with other people whom God will use to speak into our lives. Sometimes our "others" moments might involve ministering to them instead of receiving, either way there is a reason we come into contact with certain people throughout our day.

When Pharaoh finally allowed the Israelites to leave Egypt the Bible says that "they walked out boldly in full view of all of the Egyptians." (Num 33:2) I pondered the "full view of all the Egyptians" part and allowed God to speak to me through that passage. Why was it important for the Israelites to come into contact with all the Egyptians that day? Why not a hand full or a few? Or maybe the Israelites could have left while no Egyptians were watching. We understand by reading the scripture why the Egyptians were out in full view of the Israelites but there was definitely more to it than that.

As we study the passage we come to understand that on the way out God used the people who tormented the Israelites, who persecuted them, who looked down upon them, to actually bless them before leaving. The Israelites were told to go and ask the Egyptians for their clothing and gold. There was a reason they were all out in full view. I can only imagine what God might have tried to say at that very moment - to both of them - the Israelites as well as the Egyptians. How could God have been teaching, not only the Israelites but the Egyptians as well, through that dramatic encounter? There are so many lessons that could have come from that moment but one of the most important lessons is that God used others to accomplish a task - of course that is one of our purposes for being created in the first place - and don't we forget about that one? We spend countless hours passing strangers on a daily basis most of whom we rarely take notice of.

Let's do an experiment: Spend time this week noticing the very ones who cross your path. Tune into what God might be trying to say to you through that contact with another person. Maybe the Lord will give you a nudge to say something to them. Instead of ignoring it - move forward. You may find that your journey that day had meaning and purpose and that it truly was something more than an every day routine. You may find that it was not about you - but all about God.

To learn more about Tina's Bible study click here.

Your Journey Through the Holy Spirit

2009-01-30T14:12:00.016-07:00

As a pastor’s family, we go through the struggles of having to pay for our own medical insurance, taxes, and social security. In a small church that can be a very difficult thing to do. Our health care coverage plan had been extremely frustrating throughout the years, but we were finally able to get dental insurance. We desperately needed it, especially for my youngest son who had been struggling with a toothache for some time. When we finally recieved coverage we all headed to the dentist for our workups. It was quite comical - all of us sitting next to each other getting our teeth looked at. Unfortunately, our family dentist informed my youngest son that he was in need of a pediatric dentist. I immediately called to find one only to learn that all the pediatric dentists on our insurance plan were pulling out for some reason. We were left without coverage for a pediatric dentist in our area. After many conversations with the insurance company, we realized that we were not going to recieve any help from them. Now broken and tearful we needed to move forward and pay full price for a special dentist. I looked in the phone book and randomly chose a name. The appointment was set for the next morning.

The next morning I jumped out of bed ready to take my son to his appointment, but as the morning progressed something began to stir within me. A strange feeling covered me and I found myself unsure of whether it was the right thing to do. I did not have the peace I needed to move forward. "What is it?" I questioned myself. I tried to evaluate my fears. Was it because I knew we didn't have the money to go? Was it because I didn't want to make the trip into a near by town? I wasn't sure. I sent my son to school and immediately called to cancel the appointment. While canceling the appointment I had the phonebook draped across my lap. At that moment my eyes fell upon an advertisement for another pediatric dentist. I felt a strong tugging to call that dentist. Okay sometimes I do feel as if I am losing my mind. Who in there right mind would cancel one appointment and immediately turn around and call to schedule another one? It all seemed odd to me.

The new dentist office I called could see us right away. I prayed the entire way there that the office would allow us to make payments and that we would not be required to put a large sum of money down. After meeting the dentist and hearing his assessment of my son’s teeth I knew the total would be costly. The dentist asked questions about our family and my husband. I shared with him about my husband being the senior pastor of a church. I also told him where we were from and our move to Colorado. I then asked him about payments and spoke with him about the frustration we had been experiencing with our insurance company. He just smiled and told me that they would take care of us up front.

I sat out in the foyer and continued to fill out my paper work when suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was the dentist. He gave a quick nod to follow him. I assumed that he needed to share more about my son’s teeth. He took me into a conference room and asked me to have a seat while he sat across from me. He began with, “Tina, I’m going to fix all of Zachery’s teeth. I wanted you to know that I will take care of doing that, but I am not going to charge you.” I sat stunned, shocked, and speechless. "Did I hear right?" I thought.

He continued, “You see, you did not know that I have a ministry to minister’s families.” My lips quivered and large tear drops formed. Gently pushing the tissue box my way he said, "That's why I brought you in here. I felt you might get a little emotional." At that moment I released all of my emotions and like a water fall the tears fell. I expressed to him how close I came to seeing another dentist. The thought of God redirecting me urged me to want to cry even more!

God is so good! Every six months the dentist closes his doors to the public so that he can clean the teeth of minister’s children. I love going on those days. As I look across the room filled with pastor's families I feel such a bond. My heart bubbles, everything overflows, and I become misty-eyed all over again. The dentist comes out, claps his hands together, and shouts, “Oh yeah! Pastor’s Day!”

While on our journey it is difficult to sort through and discern those promptings from the Holy Spirit. Sometimes we second guess ourselves and have fears of our own that might keep us from moving forward with what God might want su to do. Over time you will learn to trust those feelings and the Holy Spirit's promptings will become clearer. Trust that God will give you the settling that you need to move forward in His prompting. Pray that God will make it very clear to you what He wants you to do. Rest in the quiet and listen for His voice. In the end by living tuned into the Holy Spirit your journey will become so much more and you will find God in the details of it all.

The Journey of Hearing From God

2009-01-29T08:41:00.012-07:00

One of the questions I get asked more than any other is "How can we know that God is speaking to us?" "How do I follow God's direction?" "I don't feel God around me."

Tough questions - sometimes the Lord reveals Himself so clearly that it is almost impossible to miss while other times are more subtle. Of course we can't always base our feelings on what might truly be happening when we say, "I don't feel God around me." Henry Blackaby's Experiencing God says that God speaks by the "Holy Spirit through the Bible, prayer, circumstances, and the church." But I have found that God uses other things to speak to us as well.

I know that to hear Him more clearly on a daily basis it must begin with a relationship. Building the relationship and becoming familiar with God's teachings and scriptures gives us a better opportunity to hear and recognize those moments when he is speaking. Can God speak to you if you do not have a relationship with Him? Of course He can. God uses many ways to get our attention. From there - the relationship begins and we learn to tune into God's voice.

Mothers are particularly good at keeping track of their small children. When a mother wakes her child for the day and leaves them to get ready while she works in the kitchen to prepare lunches or breakfast does she stop tuning into what her child is doing? Most would say no. One ear is usually tuned to the rattling of the dresser drawers, the squeaking closet doors, and running water in the bathroom. Even though a mother is busy about her work, she is still tuned into what her child is doing. In the same sense when a child is playing gleefully next to its mother while she sits and visits with a friend, what do think would happen if the mother rose up and started to walk away? You guessed it - a panic stricken toddler following after. Even though the child was playing, it was still tuned into its mother.

I believe that God does that with His children. Even though He is busy about His work - he is tuned into what we are doing, how we are feeling, what is going on in our heart . . . and at just the right moment - He speaks. Although it may not always be in the way we expect.

Bathroom Mirror

After returning home from a long day my husband snapped at me. I knew he was under a great deal of stress as senior pastor of our church and had practically been up all night working on a paper for seminary. “What gave him the right to snap at me?” I asked myself. Boy was I being selfish and childish. Not realizing that this was a day that my mate needed 90 percent from me, I only gave ten. I was upset and decided that I would show him! Amidst my childish behavior, I found my Bible and marched loudly to the bathroom. I dug deep into my makeup case and pulled out the brightest tube of lipstick I could find. I started at the top left-hand corner of the bathroom mirror and wrote in big bold letters, “LOVE IS PATIENT, LOVE IS KIND, LOVE IS NOT EASILY ANGERED!” I stepped back to take a thoughtful look at my masterpiece and decided it would do the trick - get his attention.

I left my graffiti, walked out, and then began to wait. I waited for the pleasant apology. I waited for the deserved hug and warm embrace. I waited . . . and waited . . . and waited. “Any minute now,” I thought. Time passed as I watched my husband enter in and exit out of the bathroom door all the while never saying a word about the scripture on the mirror. As usual, his attitude softened and his apology came but still with no mention of what I had done. I wanted to ask him if he had noticed the mirror. In my stubbornness, I chose not to be the first to bring it up. I decided to make sure it sank in so I left the scripture on the mirror for about a month or so. Well, God does have a sense of humor.

Back then, my children were younger and demanded more attention from me and in my attempt to escape to get a few minutes to myself, I would retreat to the bathroom to count to ten or catch my breath. As I stood at the sink, I would look up at that mirror and read what I had written. What was intended for someone else became my rescue. It relaxed me on mornings when little hands were pounding on the door while I was getting ready for work. “Love is patient.” It was a soothing balm when I became tired and felt like snapping. “Love is kind.” It became a reminder for me when my temper was short and I felt the tension rising in my soul. “Love is not easily angered.” It was a teaching tool for me and to this day I am still learning to follow that scripture. I had no idea when I scribbled it on the mirror that day that I was actually writing it for myself - but God knew and at just the right moment . . . He spoke.

As you venture out on your journey with God strive to build that relationship. That is one of the first steps you can take in learning to hear God's voice as well as moving forward and having the journey you so desire. Look for Him to speak to you through His word - however He may choose to do so. . . Look for those Journey Moments.

Life is a Journey

2009-01-27T21:48:00.007-07:00

"Life is a Journey" - We have all heard it said and some are probably sick of hearing those words - probably due to the fact that many of us walk journeys we never thought we would walk. Some of us stride familiar streets and become sickened by our routines. How many of us hate what we do? What has happened to us? How is that life has passed us by? Why do we travel the same paths day after day feeling as if we have accomplished nothing?

Life doesn't have to be that way. Every step that we take has meaning. That step takes us down a journey that will impact our lives for the better - or not. We do have a choice to walk a worthy path - or not. We have been given opportunity to view our journeys in a very unique way - or not.

For the past twelve years I have been journaling my journey and walk with the Lord. I must admit that my own personal journey has not always been what I have dreamt it to be. Even though I have not been pleased with every step taken, God has never given up on me and has been extremely persistent in teaching me His lessons - life lessons - love lessons - child lessons - humbling lessons - yielding lessons - lessons of brokenness - and lessons of victory. I call those lessons Journey Moments.

If on my journey and walk with the Lord I can grab hold of a teaching moment then the journey itself has become something more than routine. The journey itself has become something more than reckless. The journey has become something. Isn't that what we all desire from our journeys - that it would become something?

As my journey with God continues and I now move forward in this new journey of blogging I will attempt to share some of those journey moments with you. My prayer is that you too will become more aware of those teaching moments that will change your walk and cause you to rise up viewing your journey for more than what it is right now - more than just a journey but an incredible moment with the Most High King.